Trancespotting

Fun for the whole family!
For Trancers 18 and up!
Players: 2-200
84 Archetypes and counting!

Rules: Print out, take to party, cross off each Archetype as you encounter them, only one cross-off allowed per person, i.e. someone can’t count as an Armchair Trance Head AND a Freaker… The trancespotter who finds the most Archetypes wins.. and the Winner is my guest at an upcoming party (organizer must be willing) If you have Archetypes to add, email me.

Submit your own archetype

Archetypes


The African American (not to be confused with Blacks not from the U.S.) is occasionally seen at trance parties.  Those who are there have had to confound stereotypes and forge their own identities.

The Agoraphobe is afraid of wide open spaces. They will never attend an open air event unless they are assured that it is 100% legal, even if it is not. They will go to busted indoor party after busted indoor party, telling themselves that this is the only way to party.

The American usually is a freak within their own society, therefore associates with an inherently non-American dance culture., Often drinks, wears baseball hats, and has weird behavioral disorders.  Unbelievably egotistical compared to other cultures.  In the US the Americans are the ones who start drama and fights.  This category is very broad and may encompass many of the species related here.

The Angry Upstart is usually young, will bad mouth parties, tries to find and slay the status quo… always holding out until they actually throw a party themselves.   This short phase is always grown out of.  Or beaten out of.  These young pups are the constant heel biters of the the Old Timer.

The Archetype labeler thinks of witty labels for people based on their appearance. Drives the paranoid acid-heads crazy with deep stares and a notepad. Often the same person as the Psysnobdue to a love of having their ego fed by knowing they are superior to someone. When you feed them enough entheogens however, and/or play the right music at the right volume, they instantly morph into the Dancer(Submitted by pha at well.com)

Armchair Tranceheads never go to parties anymore.  Many are active on email lists.  Like to listen to music at home where they have full control.  If they get out (doubtful) they immediately convert to PsySnob (see below).  See also Old Timer.

The Artist pours their lives out on the canvas, and doesn’t blink an eye when their creations get stolen.  See also the Crazy Man and Woman 

The Ass Grabber is a wannabe loser whose desperation to get laid and take advantage of the open vibe to hit on hapless women.  This goes on until enough of them get harassed, alert the male authority figures, and they either shape up (making art etc) or get expelled by a Vigilante. This process of kicking the ass grabbing loser’s ass unfortunately has to be repeated every so often. See them in action.

The Burner, if a newbie is usually at a trance party by mistake because “Trance Sucks” See the American, Techie, Yuppie  and the Costume Buffoon.

Bottom Fisher – that guy with the broom isn’t stupid, neither are the people who hang out after a party gets busted to help “clean up” when the lights go on!  Benefits greatly from the Yuppie, and the Drinker.

Cheerleader – The Cheerleader is most vital part of a party. She is the most eager dancer, keeping the energy going, situated right at the front of the DJ, dancing until the very end, pulling people off the floor at 10am, pleading for encores, summoning Salome the Dance of the Seven veils before King Herod, and taking John the Baptists’ decapitated head and making a funny mask with it. The alter ego is the Overenthusiastic Dancer, the only difference being the essential sex appeal/hotness and hygiene of the individual. i.e. the ultimate Cheerleader is a super hot Swedish girl who will get every dude dancing in the hopes to impress her, and the ultimate Overenthusiastic Dancer is a smelly male bum. See also the Ass Grabber and the Dancer.

The Cokehead is the bane of the trance scene, luring well-heeled Yuppies into their clutches.  When they get Djs on coke, you’ll notice the sets being always cut short and the music gets more repetitive.  Some are into the Progressive mold.  They have almost single handedly ruined several Organizers.  See also the Talker.

Communists are trancers who have decided to move in together in start a trance commune, a trance kibbutz if you will.  Where piles of moldy Philip K. Dick novels meet weird art made of chocolate.  Their endeavors are great news to Slackers everywhere.  Once their dream commune happens, their events so are so warm and intimate that you don’t see them for weeks at a time.  Prone to three day parties.  Examples: CCC in San Francisco, 55 Lex in Brooklyn. Note: Any old nest of communist won’t do, it must be built around Psy-Trance.

The Confused Enlightenment Seeker These lost souls come to trance parties and believe all the Eastern mysticism, and expect others to take it all as seriously as they do. After dancing for hours they find a glimpse of inner peace. However, in thinking that they went up a notch in “Enlightenment”, they thereby negate their humbleness and consequently lose the sense of inner peace. You’ll find these people meditating at odd times in disturbing places (both physical such as subways and mental such as when distractive thoughts pop up). They will often discuss both sides of a paradox in the same paragraph and expect the listener to choose one of them to be true so that they can counter it with the flip-side. Often seen following the Cult Leader or the Philosopher around. (See also Artist, Dancer, Day Tripper, Hippie, False-Humble, and Producer)

The Cop (if under 100 people) is only there to help, can be ameliorated with a Logic Bomb CD or maybe by a friendly neighborhood Cokehead.  Usually too busy chasing Ravers to give any thought to trance people. (if over 100 people) your worst nightmare.  Because once you get a hundred people, statistics dictate that you will get at least a couple Naked Guys, Freakers, and OD’ers.

The Costume Buffoon only goes out when they have a costume.  Are into “themes.”   Build up huge collections of costumes.  Would be great bank robbers.  Can re-enter a party if kicked out.  Sometimes have more than just water in their water guns.  No one recognizes them when out of costume. See also Burners.

The Couch Potatoe: You know who they are…The guys/girls that come in…find their crash pad…and thats where they sit for the night…watching everyone else dance…usually so “under the influence” they can’t stand. Or those that usually have an excuse as to why they can’t dance…”oh I have bad knees”…or “Oh..I’m really tired”.  9 times out of 10 just taking up valuable dance space.  (Submitted by SpinKittin66 at aol.com

The Crazy Man in a male dominated society, has a huge support system and is called “Gifted” for being so “out there.”  A double standard, yes, but quite convenient whilst taking many many trance maidens to bed – or trying to.  Trancers are advised to steer clear should they become angry and violent.

The Crazy Woman trance parties are unusual in that a crazy woman can enter the party and feel right at home, and no one realizes how nuts she is until the music stops (sometimes before) usually just a phase for most women.  At some point there is a psychic/psychotic break with reality, and the woman has a very public nervous breakdown, sometimes but not always fuelled by taking too many drugs.  Prone to wailing and sometimes violence.  Sometimes cursed with the Cassandra complex.  Sometimes cat fight each other, worse when they team up. Usually they are attractive.

The Cult Leader is usually older, sometimes followed around by an entourage of young nubile New Agers, and tries to throw inherently illogical aphorisms in your face to confuse you (e.g. You are Nothing.  Nothing is Everything, etc etc)  will keep at it for hours until you sheepishly submit to their will.  Then, you are pretty much done for as their hands slide down your pants.  There’s usually one in every local scene. Usually goes through a Drug Nerd phase to aid in their brainwashing techniques (see the “Collector” subset.)  See also the Old Timer

The DJ Groupie usually seen in the DJ booth, always waiting around for their idol to play, gives them cheerful pep talks no matter how bad the set went.  Often goes from DJ to DJ.  Travels a lot.  You wish they could bring more of their girlfriends to parties but none of us mortals will never get them.Usually female, as there are few female DJs and gays in the trance scene are generally closeted.  That’s why you don’t have a “Gay” here!  Unless you count The Progressive… See also Playgirl.   See also the famous seminar Trance Personal Power.

The Dancer spends the whole party on the dance floor, nonstop movement.  If the Organizer and the DJ get everyone to become a Dancer, they will have done their jobs well..   A serious Dancerdances so much so that they forget how to speak English, or whatever language it is that they used to speak.  And if they do manage to speak no one wants to talk to them because all they are supposed to do is dance, and there are so many of the ‘never-dancers’ tripping out on them, that if the dancer stops, a whole bunch of sid just went to waste.  Seee also the Cheerleader. (Submitted by Jehan)

The Day Tripper only goes to outdoor events, will drive hours to get to outdoor parties, and has a carload of camping gear.  The elite have whole tents and are always ready for the next Rainbow Gathering or outdoor festival (see Hippies)  (Note from a Tweaker – “Ithink there should be some clarification on the category of “Daytrippers” for us of the Tweaker persuasion this is misleading because when we get tweaked for days on end (although no anymore due to various difficulties) we see shit — these hallucinations are fondly referred to as Daytripps (or Daytripping if you are experiencing them) so you can see the cause for pause when we of the tweaked come up to that one”)

DJ/Drug dealer is almost everyone at some point or another…  They all want to “take you on a journey.”  The higher levels can start revolutions.

The Drinker will save the Organizers by buying a lot of drinks from the bar, giving the bartender something to do besides slug water bottles all night.  The poorer elements (or, at parties with no alcohol allowed) will bring their own flasks or bottles of vodka.  Many recovering K-heads become Drinkers.  Drinkers are easily spotted, they are the ones rolling around on the floor or picking up other people and twirling them around (see OD’ers and Naked Guys)  They are also the ones you can take home to have sex with.  There’s weird irony because the founder of AA was a proponent of LSD.  Should stores of LSD rise to late 90s levels the drinkers will become almost extinct.

The Drug Nerd knows the difference between 2Ci and 2CB.  Loves 2cb.  Has actually read PIKHAL and TIKHAL (and even calls them Pickle and Tickle, affectionately). There are actually about twenty different subspecies of this subgroup detailed in the last issue of Tripzine, ranging from the Collector to the Thrill Seeker. (Courtesy of Fire, Earth Erowid)  Usually friends with the Hacker and the Techie.  Often called in to help the Freaker and/or the OD’er

The Drummer is usually, hopefully, adept at keeping to the beat of the music. Sometimes they will have an electronic set.

The Euro-Trash Country of origin obscure, but can be recognized by very blond spiked hair and neon orange Oakleys worn indoors. Plumage tends to include lengthy gold chain or other accessory from American hip hop videos released 2 years ago.  Other fashion errors include bright yellow pants with a blue cargo pocket stuck somewhere, or t-shirt purchased on St. Marks Pl.  Tend to have the hottest girls in the place, but avoid group if any males are wearing soccer jerseys.   See the Pill Billy (Submitted by carnifex at ece.wpi.edu)

The Fake Indian often wears tie die Ganesh shirt, smells bad, has a big smile, and gives sweaty hugs that leave you smelling as bad as they do.  The Fake Hindu: comes to events with all the Shiva tapestries,  brings the necessary Shiva, Ganesh, and Kali Idols, and plans every party around some obscure Hindu holiday and yet has no real understanding of Eastern religions, dogmas, nor teachings.  The Fake Hindu thinks that Shiva is coooooooool… (see also Old Timer, God, Cult Leader) (Submitted by djamanita at hotmail.com)  Also know as pseudo-sadhu, related to the wig-wam-wannabee who thinks there is a mystical significance to American Indians and Indian Indians being SOOOOOO spiritual….  often attributes the correspondence to divine alien influence. And chakras. (Submitted by thew at neuronautic.com) 

The False Humble Feeds owns sense of superiority by claiming to remain above the fray while simultaneously going for the jugular. Isn’t as funny as s/he thinks. (Submitted by thew at neuronautic.com)

Fire Spinners – Covered in oil and leather these artistic beasts come bearing the flame and are often half naked. Likes to spin fire in the middle of the dance floor so they can feed their egos. Typical attention whores that make everyone stop and watch them instead of other Dancers or the DJ. Seen inside circles of people these leather-bound bastards are the “breakers” of the psy scene. (submitted by Josh at Init String) Often female, attractive, and bisexual and proud of it!

The Flyer People are easiest to spot because they like to stand exactly where you want to be and hand people flyers. Never seen without a backpack these people spend most of the time at a party talking to the Security Guards. They are frequently employed and occasionally ripped off by the Organizers. For some reason most of them love drum and bass but can endure trance because it’s “fast.”  See also Bottom Fisher.

The Freaker– first spotted incoherently traipsing through peoples tents and seeming to not know where they are, or rambling on about things that know one understands. At outdoor parties they tend to just want to wander off , indoor parties they try go outside and wander around. Both of these actions pose an immediate threat to other party goers, i.e.. draw attention to the party etc… other party goers try to stop them and they freak out, becoming violent. sometimes biting close friends, screaming ,and punching people. You can always tell when some one has done this , cause they will be duct taped to a tree or chair. sometimes inside a sleeping bag…there tends to be three to six caretakers that drop by on occasion to check on the freaker. When the freaker is let loose in the morning the caretakers continue to keep in eye on him or her. usually going around doing damage control behind the freaker and trying to get others to be caretakers too. ..Submitted by leafsunbear at yahoo.com The Rainbow Gathering (see The Hippie) has their own methods of dealing with this one, if they fuck up really bad and rape someone or steal a lot of money.  They dose them with hundreds to a thousand hits of acid and tie them to a tree or leave them stranded in a city.  See also the OD’er and the Crazy Man/Woman and the Naked Guy.

Ghosts are people you only see when tripping.  And you just know that they are tripping too. This makes you wonder if they really exist are just figments of an overactive imagination (see also African-Americans) (Submitted by Mimi)

God alias Arrogant Fuckwad alias BMOC alias TranceGuru – we all know this type. Usually spends entire party socializing prominently amongst throngs of acolytes (mostly fawning women). Generally has very strong drugs. Often adorned in some sort of silly costume or body paint. Not to be confused with Rockstah DJ 

+h3 H4ck3r knows who Cap’n Crunch is. Likes Linux and Ruby and Perl.  Many ravers are hackers.  May or may not be in 2600.  American hackers are a dying breed as the legal penalties are now almost as staggering as the financial rewards offered by the tech industry. Don’t piss them off if you have a web site or discussion group (see List Moderator) See also Techie.

The Hippie sometimes will take time out of their Rainbow Gathering to waft in.  The old men are sometimes Dirty Old Men.  the women are graceful and learned, sometimes have beards to denote their wisdom.  Never have real (Western) names.  Often has dreads.  Tends to like Goa vs. straightup Psy-.  See also New Ager. In the UK at least, two subsets of hippies: The Jump Hippies : hippies (dreadlocks/tie-dye/barefoots) on the dance floor who always jump the same kinda jump on the same spot and do this hour after hour to leave the dance floor for a sip of water or another drop of acid. Usually they jump in pairs, but can be found single or even in bigger groups on the dance floor. The Walk Hippies always walk/jump on the music and use the whole freakin’ dance floor as their playground. Usually it takes them ten minutes to walk the whole dance floor (depending on the size of the festi.) before they start all over again in the center of the dance floor.

The Indian hangs out and tries to not ask which caste other Indians are part of.   Paradoxically many Indians are into Progressive Trance.  The answer to this question is far from clear.  Usually handy with a chillum, just don’t pour milk on those Kali finger puppets.  The females of the species are even harder to bed than Israeli women.

The Israeli is seriously misunderstood… they get into all sorts of trouble good and bad… it doesn’t help that they tend to be shellshocked and when you get mad at them they shrug and go “Boom Shankar”  They are smarter than the average person because (a) they didn’t send their best and brightest off to be childless monks for over 1000 years, (b) Ashenazi Jews harbour four different mutations that make them more intelligent, such as one that makes the brain’s dendrites grow more – as in, more leaves their tree of a brain – but sometimes these mutations put them in wheelchairs. Would you take a pill that added 20 points to your IQ abut had a 10% chance of making you wheelchair bound for life? I didn’t think so. But we digress…

The Jaded DJ was disatisfied with the lack of attention by being a Dancer and decided what the world really needed was another DJ. Plagued by pushing their way on the decks and then trainwrecking low bitrate MP3s on scratchy CDs even while sober, the Jaded DJ blames everyone else for them not becoming “succesful” like, say, the Rockstah DJ. No longer DJs and tries to piss on anyone close to their circles who does. Will occasionally sign on to forums under a fake name and diss other DJs. Often disappears from the scene or moves to another area to start over. Often retires to being an Armchair Trancer or Trainwreckspotter or Live Set Critic.

The Jaded Promoter no longer throws parties and tries to piss on anyone who does. Blames everyone else for them not making enough money to keep on.

The Japanese are awesome dressers and are stocked with the best drugs around, and are nice people too, which makes for a great combo.  Often, the polar opposites of Russian Israelis except for the drug part.

The Johnny Appleseed gets non-trancers turned on to trance. A tireless promoter of the psytrance viral meme. May or may not use free LSD as an enticement.

The K-head starts with recreational doses of Ketamine, then all of a sudden gets a full on out of body experience.  This epiphany leads to more and more, until they have the second highest ketamine content in their hair in neuro studies at Columbia University.  Believe it or not. everyone stops, but sometimes it takes years.  In the meantime, they go from snorting K to injecting it in their muscles, leaving trails of used needles. Can be seem squatting in the corner with a needle in their ass.  See O.D.’er.

List Moderators are forever warring with the only people they can’t moderate – each other.  Usually has incredible amounts of time on their hands and when in a foul mood will use their power like a club.  The Americans of the species are the worst of the lot.

The Live Set Critic Usually adept with computers and technology, but has no idea what it takes to produce psy-trance Is disgusted when they see people being flown over and paid to – as they put it – “just press spacebar on cubase.” This species has no concept of what a live-set is and rarely knows that the person who “just pressed spacebar” had actually spent the last two months sleeping one hour per night to make 5 minutes worth of his set.  The L.S.C also tends to be in love with or sometimes even plays a “real musical instrument” – like guitar or drums – and is constantly telling everyone around how an artist doing a live-set is so much less talented than Joey Ramon or Jack White. If seen, consider them dangerous. Approach cautiously inform them of the location of the closest punk-rock show in town, and offer to buy them a ticket.   *Close relatives in genus: Trainwreckspotter and Psysnob.*  (submitted by dave henshaw) 

The Loudmouth,  the guy telling the wrong people to go to the wrong party, also known as man-who-is-this-lewis-guy?  Tells everyone about private parties, then the organizers have to make a guest list.  The party inevitably ends up with some crashers.  (submitted by Jehan and Malcolm Lewis)

The Lurker never goes out, never sends emails on lists, just reads every… last… word….

The Mexican regards their gringo counterparts with pity. Often indistinghuishable from an Israeli.

Missing Link alias Sasquatch alias Yeti – generally only spotted at outdoor festivals in Europe. Easily distinguished by wild knotted hair, prominent supra-orbital ridge usually covered by unibrow, crazed look in eyes, bare chest, extra dirty pants (may have possibly been fluoro at one time in distant past), and well calloused hobbit feet. Is usually prominent on the dance floor shaking fists, stomping madly, and grunting, often viciously guarding one area of the dancefloor right up near the front for themselves and their pile of smelly personal effects. Disappears back to cave soon after festival is over. Often found in close habitation with the Israeli. Not to be confused with Freaker.(Submitted by jessw at mindspring.com

The Mobster is usually Russian.. but sometimes Israeli or (on the west Coast) Asian.  Tries to come in and get a corner on the drug trade, until they realize there is none.  If they hang around, they start to lose weight. Can be converted by dosing them with lots of LSD..

The Naked Guy – easiest to spot. Usually sweaty and is someone you would never want to see naked anyways. (submitted by Josh at Init String)  See also the Freaker and the Cult Leader.

The New Ager is an odd one.  Prone to donning blindfolds while dancing, these are the types that get really caught up in the tapestries.  Sometimes make crystal shrines on the dance floor.  Always a welcome addition to a cast of local characters, the New Ager don’t need drugs to be fucked up.  When in large numbers in the woods, the collective power makes you want to Henge your own Stones.  The women of the species often practice reiki and often have “Shakti” somewhere in their name.  Always trying to determine the color of your “aura.” Can be seen at sweat lodges and ayahuasca ceremonies.  See also the Hippiethe Crazy Man and Woman and Cult Leader.  When they get evil, see Occultist.

The Nuclear Unit usually consists of three members. the mother, the father & the young child. the first two are inconspicuous and are very adept at blending in with the other subgroups.( usually among the hippy/rainbow persuasion. since members of this archetype is least likely to settle down and grow up. unlike the progressive fan, who will buy a suit and get a real job upon the arrival of child.) The Nuclear Unit can only be detected by the presence of the third member, the young child. the child can normally be seen mimicking the appearance of its elders. be on the look out for jr size tie-dye, beads, earplugs (hopefully), stringy long hair and occasionally , nudity. (not to be confused with the Naked Guy)

The Occultist is very misguided, equates trance with Aleister Crowley and such.  Flames out quickly with bad parties, or goes to jail.  See also New Ager

The OD’er – You can always spot this creature passed out in an inappropriate place. If he/she’s lucky they have a friend to help them out or take them home. Notice the drool. (…submitted by Josh at Init String)  Might have post it notes stuck all over their back and ass, saying things like ‘3:30am -still breathing, don’t call the ambulance” and ‘4am – starting to move'”   See also the Freaker.

The Old Timer always pines for the good old days when the land of LSD-infused milk and honey.  Was a raver before “goa trance” officially took off in the mid 90s.  The King of the Old Timers is Goa Gil (see Cult Leader)   The Organizer never has any money.  With a surprisingly low burnout rate (~50%),  something keeps them going, either raw integrity, love for the music, or plain deviousness with money.  Gets off on giving a trance party their personal stamp.  Will hand out fruit and chai when feeling generous.  Idealistic, everyone gives them shit.

The Overenthusiastic Dancer is so eager/hopped up on something they will dance a little too much durig the breaks or lulls between songs, making people a bit nervous. Unless they are the Cheerleader, at which point they pull the crowd along. (see Cheeleader)

Partiers have their priorities straight – Only there to socialize and get laid.  Tend to do drugs that enable you to party some more.

The Philosopher relates the trance phenomenon to established philosophies, usually in written form but sometimes verbally. To qualify for this archetype the philosopher must go beyond mere Eastern mysticism (see the Fake Indian), and can somehow relate Philip K. Dick to the hierarchies of established Western philosophers.  As this dialectic sounds incredibly pretentious when actually spoken, these individuals are usually quiet and shy in person, but when they get in front of a computer with something to say – watch out! When they are focused they write excellent reviews. In order to qualify the philosophical statements must come from dead people, not living breathing Cult Leaders, or else they are merely the Confused Enlightenment Seeker. Sometimes philosophers can become Cult Leaders, but not all Cult Leaders are also philosophers.  Examples: Evan, Dave Henshaw, Selim from Boston, Jess W

The Pill Billy slams the E’s like it’s 1998.  For some reason psy-trance’s lack of an emphasis on the all powerful Bass Beat doesn’t deter them from trying to rub your shoulders.  This species is distinct from Ravers in that these yobs are into psy-trance and try to wrap the beats around their experience.  Some bring vibrating toys, as Vicks Vapo-rub is déclassé.  Some but not all preload with 5HTP and post load with MAOI’s to protect their dendrites.  These are the most short lived of the trancers, because the inevitable comedown of MDMA abuse prevents long term functionality. See Russian Israeli.  A slacker subgroup is a raver holdover called the E-Tard who lays around on the floor. Is apologetic if YOU step on them. Is in constant search of gum, water, candy or fingers to suck on. Gives back rubs without being asked. Loses their train of thought in mid sentence. And scurries to a dark corner when the lights come on.

Playboys (Brazilicus HitOnYou-s) are beefy mezzomorphics known to cut out by 4am, always trying to get laid.  Many in Brazil, haven’t made it to the US (yet)   The Playgirls are a uniquely American phenomenon and come to parties to get laid, some have Sand fever and go after Israeli men.  See DJ Groupie.

The Progressive feels like trance needs to actually “go” somewhere.   Tends toward but not always high levels of hygiene and income.  Don’t do a lot of drugs, what some may take as an underdeveloped senses of humor is actually just chronic misunderstanding.  The kind of people you could trust at your house.  See also Twilo Reject

The Producer never goes out, always working and rearranging the perfect track.  Never makes it happen, but you’d never know that from them making you listen to their cringe-inducing very steep learning curves..  Because they are friends it is difficult to tell them that their tracks suck.  Usually pale.  Usually has more experience selling ecstasy than in music composition, but that doesn’t puncture their enthusiasm.  Sometimes through sheer will they make it happen.

The Psy Snob – The most nit-picky bastard of them all. Commonly seen walking around and bitching about the sound system or the fact that the music isn’t dark/full/progressive/tech/glitch/polka trance enough for their selective taste. Most likely to hate 90% of what he/she hears and then bitch about it on a mailing list afterwards. The never smiling psy snobs are notorious for being the most un-friendly assholes on the dance floor.   (submitted by Josh at Init String)  Secret Tactics – Psy Snobs creatures can be very complex. They will sometimes appear to be just enjoying the music. Lying in wait as to ambush one of their unsuspecting friends. The friend dances up and says “the music’s great , huh?”. the psy/snob returns with “nah, I don’t really like it” now the friends stumbles away confused by the negative effect his seemingly positive friend just had on them. The psy/snob has developed an ability to pretend to be positive while spewing negative crap at every body else. Go against the psy/snob and they will scream about how negative you are…….. (submitted by leafsunbear at yahoo.com)    There are two major subsets of the Psy Snob, the Trainwreckspotterand the Track Nerd:

PsySnob Subspecies #1: The Trainwreckspotter waits around and listen for “train wrecks” in between tracks played by another DJ.  Then, when they hear one, get a pained look on their face and shake their head, and tell everyone within range how much better they could do.  The dirtier elements of this subgroup can’t really speak cause they have been chewing their cheeks to threads for the past 2 hours.  When they come up and ask for us to play “kll..ein,, aaarber dukttooor” (if they are, say, Danish) and when you turn them down and say no. they don’t understand what you say and just reply with “cool” (Submitted by Cujorious)

PsySnob Subspecies #2: The Track Nerd knows every track, every year of release, which album or compilation it appears on, and which label published it. Is amazed when he/she shows up to a party and “hears a track they don’t recognize.” Is usually bombarded with questions by his/her friends such as “what track is this?” and “what compilation did this come out on?” Loves dancing and listening to the music, but sometimes has a hard time staying focused when an unreleased and/or recent release is played that he/she has never heard before. Upon hearing it, the track nerd morphs into the QUESTIONER and asks all present “what track is this?”   (anonymous)  The track nerd also feels irritated, when trying to enjoy the music, and his/her friends come over and talk to them all time. once in a while gets irritated enough to say it directly “fuck off, I’m trying to dance” (Submitted by Cujorious)

The Raver you can spot these people a mile away, they have no fluoro on them, and will show up if there absolutely is nothing else going on that weekend.  Their subsets are the Thug, the Candy Raver and the Hardcore Head.  All should be avoided for various reasons.  Basically the thugs and hardcore heads will steal your bag or tag your lobby, and the Candy Ravers, well, they will kill you with kindness.


Rockstah DJ 
– see Tim Schuldt. (Submitted by jessw at mindspring.com, see also DJ Groupies)

The Russian is a bit confused… new country, so many possibilities.  Tends to be technologically adept.  Forget the rude and boorish stereotype, 99% of Russians in trance are the nicest people you will ever meet.  And the most idealistic, a carryover from communism.  Some say they are genetically designed to be dark and brooding.  The biggest surprise: they rarely drink.  A subset is a dark squatter type who only listens to Parasense.  All bets are off, however, when mixed with the Israeli.  A Russian Israeli when not in jail or being deported is a wild child, often the grease that greases the serotonin levels of a crowd. A theoretical poster child for white supremacists in the Pacific Northwest, the Russian Israeli when on the skids is kicked like a football between the US and Israel.

The Security Guard: Largest humans ever manufactured. On the West Coast, often Samoan, otherwise Black and eat white babies for breakfast with Tang. Easily mistaken for tanned rhinoceros dressed for a funeral. Will kick your ass with brass knuckles if you ask where the bathroom is or if The Dancer gets too close. Use tactics similar to velociraptors where one grabs your attention and the rest come from all blind sides before dragging you to a Twiloesque back room at where there is no furniture and only a naked light bulb on ceiling. If charged, beast(s) can be distracted with promises of a special meeting with he and The Crazy Girl or The Raver (girl). (Submitted by carnifex at ece.wpi.edu)

The Slacker AKA The Freeloader only goes to free parties.  If not kicked out the Slacker will stay at your house for daayyyyys.  Sometimes they get smart at their slacking and learn to cook for you.  Too lazy to actually have seen the movie.  The Uber Slackers are from Austin.
The Sleeper, can be found awake usually at the beginning of the party, or when there is some technical failure with the sound and the party temporarily ceases to exist.  The sleeper is notorious for falling asleep in the mostly highly trafficked areas of the party, and often in ways that makes you wonder if they are even alive.  The most intriguing quality of a Sleeper, is that often at the end of a party you will spot them sleeping, and you will smirk….  you will then get on with your after party plans, and go through hell and high water to get there, and when you get there, the Sleeper is already there!  Sleeping!  The Sleeper is notorious for one other thing…  when they are not sleeping they are often the most vicious talkers.  (see Talker) Submitted by Jehan

The Straightedge – not very common at trance parties, like the African American.  Not related to the Straightedge punks in the 80s, straightedge trance heads find creative things to do with their brains, like producing  “psychedelic” music for people on drugs to dance to, er, never mind.   They are to psy-trance what New Agers are to Goa. Closely related to Armchair Tranceheads and Progressives.

The Talker, is the bane of any LSD or ayahuasca trip.  Though trance parties generally have a lot of talkers, often in the darkest areas, waiting for a stray tripper to come their way…  however a real Talker can only be found out in one way…  when you encounter a person who talks a lot, and is talking to you to the point where all you see is there mouth moving and the sounds may as well be a skipping track, suddenly walk away from the person, after a few steps, look back, if he or she is still talking and doesn’t even notice that you are gone, then yes, you have just encountered a real Talker.  Never ever tell a Talker to be quiet.  They will be back before you know it in double force, sometimes after popping another E. (Submitted by Jehan) They also save a lot of money on therapists by dishing it all out on people around them at parties. See also the Cokehead

The Techie is someone who brings weird gizmos to parties.  These include brain machines and custom designed wearable computing.  First seen in Toronto and MIT, who knows,  everyone may become a Techie in the future.

The Traitor *WAS* a goa/psy-trance DJ but now plays Progressive House.  The worst of the lot.  Kill them.  Make sure to make recent converts from the Dark Side happy or they may defect, loudly complaining how many drugs everyone is on and how difficult it is to get laid and how “they all suck” because “they don’t like my tracks.”

The Tranceketeer Mafia– Ubiquitous gang of females from NY, Boston, Philly, Asheville and various foreign countries (travel on a variety of passports and tend to be multi-lingual) who arrive in a pack to race around a party with at least 5 mobile phones and three digital cameras going at once. Preference for outdoor festies outside of US. Usually carry fliers promoting some trance event or other.  After hours include Tori/Bjork. Friends with all the DJs major/minor, Organizers, promoters, venue owners, bartenders, tchotchske marketers. There is usually one brave male who sneaks along for their girls’ nights out/in to eavesdrop and enjoy the high estrogen flow. Unusually high capacity for travel, danger, alcohol and other substances, but not necessarily. Their agenda is multi-fold: Make your own fun and don’t be afraid to look ridiculous in front of others, Dance like hell whether the music/soundsystem/venue sucks or not, Save the Party at any cost whether it is finding the venue, moving the party to a new venue when the other one is lost at last minute or being padlocked/shutdown, bribe the cops with cleavage/cuteness whichever works, render first aid, find a liquor sponsor, sound system, take a collection or mysteriously appear with more beer/alcohol/water/food whatever when there appears to be none, interface/ambassador with other cultures, and demand justice when justice is needed!!!   Occasionally get arrested.  Have gigantic rolodex either in PDA/phone or imbedded in brain. Hammocks are a must.  They are the secret female agent weapons of the promoters. Not to be confused with DJ Groupies, Crazy Women, Yuppies or that weird mystical category although they’ve all been there a time or two.

The polar opposite of a Traitor (an immigrant rather than an emigre if you will) is the Twilo Reject, a pill popping house head who somehow got to a party and tripped full on and has now found their new religion.  Still has all their spandex shirts.  These types are best fed a steady diet of Progressive until they are ready to make the psychedelic leap.

The Vigilante AKA the Trance Warrior are that rarest of trancers, ones who embrace violence as a legitimate means.  Will try to play cop when something gets stolen.  Not afraid to get violent with purse thieves.  Sometimes makes web sites about thugs.  Having read too many comic books in their youth, Vigilantes have low life expectancies.  Nevertheless they are effective at keeping “bad elements” out.  Usually the one who duct tapes the Freaker to a tree. Tolkien’s Strider/Aragorn and the Rangers were classic Vigilantes protecting the thankless Hobbots from being butt raped by the Orcs.

A retarded cousin of the Vigilante is the PsyThug…However, the psythug is just fashionablly thuggy and doesn’t really beat anyone up. Come to think of it, neither does the Vigilante.

The VJ – Typically seen behind a computer screen mixing video and clicking on software the entire party. Drinks heavily and never socializes or dances. (submitted by Josh at Init String)

The Watcher…Self described “Elite” of them all. Has met, worked with, and befriended every species on this planet. He loves them all except for the freaker. He likes the ass grabber because the ass grabber has given him knowledge on the many feelings of the female species ass. He goes to every kind of party when bored…He does not like to drink or do drugs anymore, steers clear of the rainbow gathering. I guess you can say he has been there and done that, finally became a man. He has worked with, befriended, or at least just met every kind of person you can meet. He thinks this should be illegal. He knew Bill O’reilly would be able to tell us where the spin stops. You can usually find him reading a book, conversing with other watchers, business owners, or spirtually superiour beings (rare). Submitted by therealgreat28 at hotmail.com &

Wraith alias BaconDoubleCheeseburger alias ShapeShifter– quiet, pale, extremely waifish loner individual who floats about virtually unseen at parties. Further study has suggested diet consists only of psychoactive substances. Little documentation has been made available about this individual due to their inability to show up on film. Rare. (Submitted by jessw at mindspring.com)

The Yuppie comes to parties, drinks, buys other people’s drinks, drinks some more.  Tries to use their real world connections to further trance.  Many tend to be “Progressive” (see above) Well dressed, there are many in L.A.

The Zoroaster AKA the Smiling while being Crucified Person simply laughs and affirms all the time. Even at the moments of their birth and of their death – moments when most others cry – they are laughing.

Disclaimer: The inventor of this game has beem a Cokehead, K Head, Techie, Yuppie, Twilo Reject, Organizer, Partier, Naked Guy, VJ, DJ/Drug dealer, Slacker, OD’er He currently is (still) a Costume Buffoon, Vigilante, Drinker, Drug Nerd,  Moderator, and American   

Theres a bottomless pit from which the Archetype arises from, like crawling out of the primordial ooze. Make a party and they will come… the outcasts, the drug addicts, freaks, dope pushers, wife beaters, torturers, trancespotters, teasers, deviants, dust munchkins, drunks, doxies, demimondes, dipsomaniacs, tarts, DJ groupies, jailbirds, junkies, flunkies, flesh traders, flim flam men, fetishists, lowlifes, lushes, lepers, schleppers, schlemiels, snake oil salesmen, squatters, stalkers, streetwalkers, smokers, cokers, jokers, advertising people, 604 armchair trance heads, adulterers, deserters, drugstore cowboys, dirty old men, dharma bums, drug traffickers, users, losers & abusers, lab techs, lurkers, neuromancers, number runners, ne er do wells, nincompoops, nymphomaniacs, ninnies, megalomaniacs, madman, mack daddys, masochists, Mata Haris, spiritual healer, rotters, trance-gender persons, hole-divers, sneaker pimps, cunts, grannies, grampies, big mommas, big swinging dicks, jammy dodgers, wankers, lunatics, zen masters, fairies, gnomes and other supernatural beings, shoplifters, Goa Constrictors, duct tape fanatics, native gaians, citizens of Tonga (only cause I never get to see many of those), book characters, bridge party people, Indian mafia, cavemen, the broken hearted, Israeli promoters advertising fake parties ostensibly thrown by rivals, gypsies. exhibitionists, fiends, flasher, felons, fascists, fences, fun guys, false prophets, Flying Winos, womanizers, weekend warriors, weirdoes, war criminals, witches, Wolf criers, console cowboys, Californicators, cretins, shady arms dealers, sugar daddys, shameless self promoters, boiler room penny stock peddlers, punters, pickpockets, pool sharks, plagiarists, perverts, pyromaniacs, party girls, party crashers, Pariahs, polluters, presdigitators, prevaricators, vampires, Maharishis, voyeurs, vamps, vandals, vixens, viragos, villains, village idiots, trailer trash, tantrists, tightwads, tricksters, turncoats, two timers, tomboys, trippers, strippers, tipsters, software pirates, simpletons, slobs, snobs, schemers, scofflaws, sissies, scoundrels, social climbers, Goa tourists, swindlers, swingers, sleazoids, scumbags, slavers, slave drivers, sorcerers, speaker thieves, psychos, surreal killers, skinheads, succubi, jackasses, jury riggers, race mixers, rebels, ragamuffins, recidivists, roughnecks, rumourmongers, wetbacks, wizards, warlocks, sportos, motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dick heads, dissidents, deserters, highwaymen, headhunters, hijackers, harridans, hooligans, hoods, hecklers, hackers, heros & zeroes, philanderers, forgers, femme fatales, false prophets, floozies, Pharisees, faggots, thugees (Indian cult murderers), thieves, Anjuna assholes, draft dodgers, dime store plastic surgeons, imposters, urchins, idiots, incubi, succubi, sadists, snake charmers, sober sadhus, satyromaniacs, sodomists, psychonauts, slackers, slayers, ravers. robbers, ropers, dopers, ass grabbers, assassins, 24 hour party people, goat ranchers, gangsters, getaway drivers, gambers, gossips, geishas, grifters, growers, grisettes, gun runners, gluttons, Goths, sloths, skeezers, skanks, cranks, cokeheads, cop killers, crooks, quacks, cruisers, idolaters, molesters, masturbators, mercenaries, money men, muggers, market makers, mobsters, murderers, muscle men, mad scientists, mountebanks, motherfuckers, made men, meretrices, minimal progressive pimps, pornographers, parasites, party animals, punks, pennyweighters, pigs, pigeon pluckers, poachers, peddlers, pranksters, princes of darkness, travel ticket con men, gigolos, hydro-courtesans, arsonists, adulterers, Anti-Disestablishmentarianists, assholes, anarchists, Antipodean international trance hooker trios, hipsters, flipsters, and finger-poppin daddies, those on the take, scams, shams, shoplifters, charlatans, charas dealers, cheaters, chippies, children of dysfunctional alcoholic abusive families, drinkers, traitors, day traders, devil worshippers, lookouts, loonies, Prince Williams entourage, ambulance chasers, cattle rustlers, Kleptos, cannibals, cutpurses, cult leaders, call girls, counterfeiters, kept women, convicts, kingpins, communists, card sharks, codependants, cads, orcs, bastards, boors, backpackers, bandits, brigands, bootleggers, boozehounds, box men, bawds, burglars, bums, backstabbers, bikers, buffoons, beggars, bumpkins, bullies, buccaneers, back alley practitioners, bottom boys, beatniks, brothel madams, blasphemers, bookies, bombers, harlots, hippies, whores, whoremongers, hangers-on, hustlers, hashashim, strumpets, psychedelic terrorists, acid visionaries, Anjuna beach bums, burnouts, slum lords, speed freaks, sun starers, rapscallions, rakes, Rainbow Gatherers, rounders, roundheels, racketeers… and the republicans.

If you think this is fun, see also: Trance D&D, many levels of which are explained here.