TrancePersonal Power

TONIGHT!
FREE SEMINAR!!
MACHINELF’S “HOW TO PICK UP WOMEN THROUGH DJING”

Hi everybody!  My name is Machinelf and I am so excited to bring you the answer you’ve been looking for to drag your squalid existence into the inner circle of Valhalla, and meet those special someones (or someone else’s!)
Heaven knows you can’t spit in New York these days without hitting a DJ.  Anybody can press those buttons and line up the BPMs – your momma could do that!! (LAUGHTER)
Three years ago I was down and out.  Career was going nowhere, my girlfriend beat me up on a regular basis, and my social life was in shambles.  Just like you right!  But one day I discovered the DJ BOOTH – and how to use it as a weapon in the War between the sexes.  I also found that the one thing that separates a happily fulfilled DJ and a DJ who has a huge phone sex bill every month can be isolated to one thing –
DJ TRANCEPERSONAL POWER!!
You too can get the wimmin through love-ly grooves – even if you don’t know how to spin vinyl!!
 
You too will learn tips such as:
-How to research what they played at her prom
-How to statistically gauge from a roomful of potential bedmates the years of their corresponding proms, and the top hits from bands like Spandau Ballet that played at those proms, and the winnability quotient for each track
-How to select that PLURfect track to get her in the mood
-How to show your soft feminine side without looking completely gay
-How to find a DJ name that Sends the Love
-How to explain how CDs are more groovalicious than vinyl
-How to date a “nice girl’ who doesn’t go to bars or clubs
-How to keep your cool when NO ONE is dancing
-How to slowly swing your hips while DJing without looking like Elvis – Elfis
-How to seem like you’re famous in Berlin
-NLP – Neurological Love Power!
-How to play slow dance songs without putting them to sleep
-How to send all your eye contact energy to her while the vocals are saying what you want them to do
_How to be interesting without being scary! (Funny ha-ha!) (LAUGHTER)
-How to turn away groupies without ruining future chances
-How to deal with simultaneous requests for songs without offending the uglier one
-How to fend off psycho thugs who demand Ragga
-How to make sure she sees your cases of music and all the stickers from places overseas that you’ve never been
-How to use the DJ Booth as a shield
-The Difference between a Beauty Call and a Booty Call
-How to down a Viagra without her or the bouncer seeing you
-How to slip mix CDs to multiple females but making it look like each is the only one who got it
-How to use Trance to get her Hypnotized
-How to disguise your Herpes medicine as MDMA
-How to use CDs like Throwing Stars!
-How to corral away women who show up with illegitimate children that you have fathered
-How to deal with a screaming wailing naked woman who prostrates herself in front of the dj booth
_How to play Progressive Trance and still look like you could get it up
-How to scam free drinks from the bartender for the
unliquored blonde at the bar if your free drink tickets run out
-How to control her like a marionette puppet though House Music!
-How to create web sites and Yahoo Groups built around your ego!
-How to tell people you’re a DJ without sounding like a dick
-How to alternately look rich and famous and alternately not just recidivistically impecunious but also butt-out homeless – at the right times!
-How to discern between “Womyn” and “Chicks”
-How to use hip-hop to get her hips to hop – and show your street cred!
-How to explain why they can’t be comped
-How to score at a Wedding Party
-How to make your cheapo $10 headphones look like an “experimental prototype”
-How to sneak underage girls into the bar
-From a demo CD to her at your place burning extras:  the Smoove Road
-How to point at them while their favorite track is playing and smile suggestively
-How to set the sound levels surreptitiously low for the other DJs so when you come on you’re louder
-How to disappear into the crowd if you lose your cool, then complain about the DJ
-How to optimize/flange the bass levels when the girls are humping the subs
-How to use those dancefloor props (Glowsticks, rattles, whistles, beer bottles) into sex toys to make the evening truly memorable
-How to sell drugs to the hotties while DJing
-how to disguise your roofies as big, chunky chalky Aspirin
-How to bribe the management and bouncers with women
-How to explain to your tricks and your pimp what you are doing while you’re supposed to be working
-How to approach a celebrity at the venue and make it look like you know them – and even shoot for a high five!
-How to dedicate each song to a different woman without anyone noticing
-How to sneak out with the promoter’s girlfriends
-How to deal with wedgies by men who secretly crave your baby skin
-How to evade security when in a bathroom – and you’re not alone!
-How to break up fights when you get ejected from the bathroom!
-How to receive fellatio without train wrecking
-How to get lucky at Bar Mitzvahs and 12-Step Parties (“Wha? I thought this was TWO Step!”)
-How to disguise your vodka as bottle water
-How to position yourself right next to her at the peak of your morning music slot!
-How to evade exes!
-How to dress for sex-cess!
-How to target “no sneakers or ball caps” venues – and wear a sneaker and ball cap to look cool!
-How to tell what she likes by just looking at what she’s wearing!
-How to dress to attract a: dirty hippie psy-trancer, a satin bra wearing progressive pill billy, or any archetype on Trancespotting
-How to mix in subconscious moans into the music without anyone noticing
-How to deal with the woman who requests a song but doesn’t know the name but tries to sing it to you
-How to cloak your illicit black leather toga in politically correct Rainbow Gathering homemade clothes made out of Hemp
-How to explain a trainwreck on the decks or a skipping CD that inevitablely intiates beer bottles thrown at you, sometimes splattering you through the chicken wire, Sex Pistols style!
 
You’ll be sending mysterious sonic rays that will loosen her pant strings every time!
 
You’ll have access to the Ultimate Set to Wear Down Her Defenses and Make Her Feel a Void that ONLY YOU can Fill!
FREE TRIAL!

ALSO GREAT FOR BI/HOMOSEXUALS!  (In which case replace all the female allusions mentioned here with masculine ones)
Bring your friends!
 
Graduates from my Seminar have been running leaps and bounds over any objection from a woman – as long as they are DJing!  Sandy Collins took the TRANCEPERSONAL POWER FOR WOMEN and she never looked back!  I also run that seminar!
 
Starting Wednesday Sept. 1
From 8pm-10pm downstairs at Karma 51 1st Avenue between 3rd and 4th ID21+ FREE!

Machinelf can be found down in a Van by the River, or in the real world simultaneously on all chat lines both telephone and web.  So just call one and ask for Jeff and take a number! 

What are you waiting for!