Updated 4 months ago
THIS IS ALL SATIRE, MUCH OF IT IS WRONG, IGNORANT, LAZY AND MEAN-SPIRITED. HUMANS DREAM UP STEREOTYPES TO PUT EACH OTHER DOWN TO MAKE THEMSELVES FEELS BETTER. THIS FUELS GENOCIDES, DICTATORS, AND DANGEROUS POPULISTS LIKE TRUMP; NEVERTHELESS, I HAVE SYSTEMICALLY INCLUDED EVERY LAST VILE CARICATURE I COULD FIND ABOUT EVERYONE.
IF YOU GET EASILY OFFENDED RUN WHILE YOU CAN.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Introduction
“Stereotypes are not harmful for their mere existence; they’re harmful for their reduction of a person or group.”
~Constance Wu
Publishing this will probably disqualify me from ever becoming President. A small price!
Before we begin, a tip of the fedora to our two towers of inspiration, Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung, who, like sterotypes in general, have been often debunked:
Age/Generation
Complete PDF of generational differences
TL;DR:
Baby boomers = “OK, boomer.”
Gen X = “OK, Karen.”
Millenials = “OK, liberal.”
Gen Z = “OK, edgelord.”
Teenagers – Gen Z – Rebellious, addicted to all social media besides Facebook, dislike healthy food, drives badly, smokes pot
Millennials – Ages 16-38 in 2020 – Unmotivated, facing declining prospects, seek meaning. Coddled as children. Consumers.
Gen X
( Middle Aged – 36-55 in 2020) – Have midlife crises. Skeptical. Rebel slackers. Bleak, cynical, and disaffected. Caught in the middle of two much larger generations. Trump has split this generation straight in two.
Baby Boomers
(Ages 56-74 in 2020) The Me Generation: selfish, watch spectator sports on TV. Equate socialism with Stalin. Out of sync with technology.
Every decade they have taken the most selfish, me-too route – in the 60s they were teenagers and embraced drugs, rebellion and party.
In the 70s, in their twenties they picked up whatever deviant experimental habit they could while they started to enter the workforce.
In the 80s the noose tightened and they started going full on fellatio to corporate greed. There was even a demographics-driven show called Thirtysomething, for fuck’s sake.
In the 90s and 2000s they were in their 40s and 50s , and started to get that midlife crisis and saw all these new rave kids with their weird music and MDMA and weird Internet technology and felt threatened – even though Boomers were far worse in rates of drug abuse as teenagers.
By the time the 2010s rolled around Boomers were in full blown reactionary mode and voted for Donald Trump, believing whatever half baked shit the Russians dreamed up and fed them on Facebook.
It became full circle. They had become all the vile shit that their desegregation-and MLK-hating parents had become decades prior.
The Greatest Generation
(Ages 75+ in 2020)
Gullible, easily misled by con men, feeble-minded.
If White, they watch Fox.
If female, they give to televangelists and may be or become cat ladies.
If Black, they are churchgoing.
All they talk about is health issues and some variation of “When I was your age I hiked through miles of snow to ___ and that ___ used to cost a nickel”
PC is full of viruses and spyware. They often get fooled by fake popups telling them to call a number, they call and speak to an Indian who rudely demands money to fix their PC.
Sounds harsh, but the world will be a much better place when this group and the Baby Boomers pass on.
Body Type
Before you work out, the most important factor in your training is your body type, which affects everything, i.e., if you are Ecto but train like a Meso you will gain only a few pounds of muscle mass after six months of daily workout.
Ectomorph (Thin) High metabolism, sensitive, artistic, shy, anxious, intellectual. Peak late.
Endomorph (Muscular) Easily gains weight (high penalty for laziness – once they stop being active/working out they are fucked), aggressive, domineering, competitive. Peak early.
Mesomorph (Fat) Low metabolism, jolly, lazy, affection-seeking. Never really peak.
Short Person – aggressive, AKA the “Napoleon Complex” because they are literally looked down upon. The most dangerous of all body types. 90% of CEOs are of above-average height.
Here’s an Ectomorph (me!) debating a Mesomorph and an Endomorph on a talk show in the 90s.
Dogs
Alaskan Malamutes are aggressive and possessive. Akitas are mouthy.
Chihuahuas are self-important ankle-biters – mean barky little shits.
Chow chows, Great Danes, St Bernards, Boxers, Doberman pinschers, and Rottweilers are aggressive.
Cocker Spaniels pee everywhere, snap at you, and can’t be trained.
Huskies are stubborn, aggressive, and destructive.
Pit Bulls are savage, German Shepherds are mean, Poodles are pampered, skittish, fearful and stupid, and overprotective.
Drugs
Adderall – people who wanna do meth legitly
Alcohol – people with jobs who want to get fucked up but not break the law, and drug addicts trying to be normal.
Ayahuasca – affluent travelers (or homebrew nerds) willing to spend thousands of dollars to put their lives and well being at risk cavorting amongst the noble savages at high priced new age retreats run by greedy con men who will bury their corpses somewhere should anything happen.
Chewing tobacco – Ex-smokers, people that don’t care about losing their jaws, rednecks and Wall Streeters. Hipster version is Swedish snus.
Cigarettes – idiots and TV/film villains
Dabs – kids who like dubstep
DMT – hipster psychonauts, people who don’t want to commit to a 4-hour ayahuasca trip. They have to either have smoker’s lungs or be super committed to hold the smoke in for 3 deep breaths.
Heroin – absolute losers. When I hear someone does heroin, I assume they will be dead soon.
Huffing – desperate, nihilistic street kids (often Russian) and extreme redneck kids
Ketamine – People who don’t want to commit to a 10-hour acid trip, date rapists, and gays who want to relax their buttholes. Can be very addictive. They start with powder and graduate to intramuscular injections. After they quit, Ketamine abusers often turn to alcohol.
LSD – weirdos, hippies, and Silicon Alley microdosers.
Marijuana – slackers and hippies and boomers who wanna relive their hippy days
MDMA – shallow sybarites that love progressive house and trance
Meth – low-class white people, Breaking Bad
PCP – blacks, NYC teens and ghetto ravers
Synthetic Marijuana – grossly misinformed or desperate kids. One step above bath salts or huffing.
Vaping – People who really should be using nicotine gum, but are too stupid so they use the “douche flute.”
Family
Father –
The Good Dad – Always attends kids’ sports games, plays catch with son.
The Drunk – Always out late at the bar with friends, comes home angry, beats wife and kids, molests daughters
All tell lame dad jokes.
Mother – Rich housewife, henpecker, waits at door for husband to get home from bar, with a dough roller, sleeps with mailman
Pregnant Mom – Pukes a lot
Weird Uncle at Thanksgiving talks about weird shit
Firstborn – The one expected to be responsible and carry the family name
Middle Child – The peacemaker
Baby of the Family – The wild child, experimental
Gender
Male – strong, silent, do all the work. If they spend too much time on computers, they are geeks.
Female All females are either Virgins, Whores, Mothers, or Crones. Emotional, dumb, not good at sports, messy, naturally worthy of more respect than men
Non-Binary – confused tool of the Regressive Left
Mental “Disability”
All of these are on a spectrum and can vary wildly. I’m actually leaving out stereotypes and putting correct data
ADD/ADHD 4.4%, (50% higher in males) – “Look! A Squirrel!” Myth: no attention span. On the contrary, they hyperfocus, they just might have difficulty changing their focus.
ADHD is caused by the h2D2 variant of the dopamine receptor, common in hunter-gatherer societies such as Native Americans, Aboriginals, and Pygmies – and Europe, which are one reason why the West was so individualistic and innovative.
Timothy Leary postulated that early man, coming out from Africa, was split into those who went east, following the rising sun, and those who went West, rejecting the rising sun.
I postulate that this may have been over thousands of years something subtly to do with hive-minded, harmonic, societal, farmer long term thinking non-ADHD, and individualistic, innovating ADHD thinking.
So by this argument, AHDH went West into the fragmented European continent, and non-ADHD went East, culminating in China.
And in northeast Asia, the migrating ADHD gene carriers kept going – over the sea to the New World.
In India, the rare ADHDers are seen as holy people.
In Africa, the non-ADHD Bantu took over most of the continent, and kept the indigenous microtribes like pygmies at bay.
One final note – the ADHD gene appears to have been standard for humans until about 50,000 years ago, when there was a global cataclysm caused by volcanic eruptions. The mutation away from ADHD happened around then. This new mutation was conducive to monotony and long periods of boredom, i.e. farming. And, the theory goes, as scarcity due to ice ages came and went, farmers quickly outbred the hunter-gatherers, as they can support much denser and specialized societies and technology than hunter-gatherers.
So today, those with ADHD are walking fossils.
Asperger’s 1/250 – like autism but far easier to talk
Autistic 1.7% (4x in males) – Incredibly complex spectrum i.e. some love stimulation, others do not
OCD 2.3% (Slightly higher in females) – Myths: neat and tidy; in fact 2/3 are hoarders
Tourette’s 1% – Saying “Fuck you”all the time is very rare and Tourette’s usually subsides in adulthood
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Political Party
Alt-Right – Nazis, love 4chan, Gamergate, Pepe, and the OK sign. A lot of crossover with Incels. Probably don’t rally understand actual politics that much. Will say something really inflammatory, then call you a triggered snowflake SJW (Social Justice Warrior).
Communist – Incredibly out of touch, old, likes unions, wild hair, completely ignorant of history, tolerates social democrats for their Trojan Horse role
Democrat – Liberal/progressive, multicultural, educated, urban, globalist, personally moral yet publicly seek less government control of social issues. Guilt ridden towards blacks and prone to let them run rampant (see above)
Feminists – Hairy legged lesbians, burn their bra, hate men
Libertarian – Republicans who have been busted for drugs, don’t mind polluted environment and food. White. Unrealistic.
Republican – Trump-supporting, white, lower education, country, ignorant, personally immoral yet publicly seek more government control of social issues
Social Justice Warriors (SJWs) Pejorative term for “cancel culture” Regressive Left, intolerant, purity spirals. Has been so completely stereotyped that next to no one would love them. The reality is, they constitute a very tiny subset of a subset of a subset of loud and naive college kids.
Antifa/Anarchist – Seeks only ruin & destruction
Race/Ethnic Group
Racial Pejoratives on Wikipedia
Racial Slur Database
Arabs
Bearded. Own gas stations and convenience stores. Want to replace White People and impose Sharia Law on America. Hate Jews. Smart, modest, insecure, impulsive, suck at war. Billionaires, bombers and belly dancers. Locks their women in their houses. Terrorists. If turban, rich. Love tea and shisha. Thieves, charlatans, murderers, and brutes.
Crimes: Pederasty and terrorism
Asians
“Model minority,” smart, emasculated, asexual, eat rice, parental pressure (Tiger Mothers), likes ping pong, eats dogs and cats, small dicks, bad drivers (too slow or too fast), good at math, make species go instinct by their superstition, worship ancestors. Keep savings in a mattress.
Hmong, Laotian and Cambodian Americans tend to be high school dropouts.
Blacks
Archetypes: Mammy, Mandingo, Sapphire, Uncle Tom, Sambo, Angry Young Black Man, Rastas (black hippies), Muslims – trigger warning – Blacks with Muslim sounding names are uppity and to be feared because they probably are proud of their race, don’t do drugs, and have jobs. And that is TWO scary things – Blacks and Muslims – into ONE person, which can’t be good news.
Likes: comfort foods like soul food, chitlins, watermelon and fried chicken, rap and hip hop
Skills: dance (all the makes can do the Moonwalk), sing (“those people” have a “natural sense of rhythm”), sports
Characteristics: big dicks, afro-sheen, have very odd made-up names, harsh on their children, tend to be wary of hate Jews, ignore crosswalks
Crime: Mugging, assault
Hispanics
Illegals and “anchor babies,” the stereotype went from lazy to hardworking from circa 1950s to 2020, conservative socially, family-oriented (will protect their families with their lives), likes spicy foods, have chickens in their backyards, generous, gangs. Pool their money. “Know the system.” Will also not do business with anyone they can’t do a shot of tequila with.
Indians
Like Arabs, own gas stations and convenience stores.
Treat making puchases like a home like negotiating the purchase of some shell necklaces on a beach in Cabo.
Smell like curry. Dirty. Prone to cult leaders. Burn their brides to death for dowery. Shit out in the open. Whole society is planned castes.
Irish
“Micks,” “White Niggers”, Drunkards, eat potatoes, huge families, become cops, lawyers, and construction workers
Italians
“WOP’s” (without papers), “DAGOs” paid “as the day goes”), Guidos, loud, mafia, often right-wing little Mussolini Trump types
Jews
Archetypes:
JAPs (Jewish American Princesses – materialistic, wear a lot of jew-elry and overly made up).
JAPs turn into Jewish Mothers – nagging, loud, highly-talkative, overprotective, smothering, and overbearing mother
Nice Jewish Boys – embody אײדלקײַט (eydlkayt, either “nobility” or “delicateness” in Yiddish
Characteristics: like vampires, they shy away from crosses, smart, funny, greedy, good with money, run the world banks, big noses (this one actually has no basis in reality), loud, pretentious, rabbis put their mouths on the baby’s penis when they do bris (circumcision) often giving the babies herpes, “stick together.”
Being driven out of traditional WASPy professions since medieval times, they went into moneylending, gold and diamond sales, comics, and Hollywood. Today they are often lawyers.
Crimes: usually white-collar scams and pyramid schemes
Wikipedia
Neanderthals – Slow, dim-witted, strong, antisocial, probably will end up disappearing into whites and some asians.
White People
Characteristics: Obese, lazy, fake, smell like wet dogs, dim-witted, can’t dance unless they are in a square or drunkenly doing the Macarena, not funny, prone to being antivaxxers . Neanderthal blood. Males are insecure about their dick size. Prone to the weirdest and twisted industrial-strength war crimes ever visited upon humankind.
Likes: coffee, yoga, Toyota Prius, expensive sandwiches, microbrews, the idea of soccer, hockey, vintage, Martha Stewart, Donald Trump, guns, San Francisco, basketball assists, modern furniture, NPR, new age, and music with guitars
Crimes: DWI, and white people are disproportionately represented with creepy crimes, such as pedophilia, arson, and mass shootings
Religion
Christianity See Churches, below
Islam (1.3b)
Sunni 90%
(Arabs, Indonesia, Pakistan, Afghanistan)
Leadership is determined through tradition
Shi’ah 10%
(Iran, Lebanon, Yemen; Syria is only roughly Shia’ah)
Leadership is determined through birthright
Nonreligious (Secular/Agnostic/Atheist) (1.1b)
Hinduism (900m)
Chinese traditional religion (394m)
Buddhism 376m
Primal-indigenous (300m)
African traditional and Diasporic (100m)
Sikhism (23m)
Juche (19m) (North Korea’s man-centered ideology)
Spiritism (15m)
Judaism (14m)
Bahai (7m)
Jainism (4.2m)
Shinto (4m)
Cao Dai (4m)
Zoroastrianism (2.6m)
Tenrikyo (2m)
Neo-Paganism (1m) – Probably white power
Unitarian-Universalism (800,000) – Whatever
Satanists – Drug Orgiastics
Wiccans – Lesbian
Church
Catholics – lazy, eat fish on Friday and get ash on their forehead every April, have too many kids and tolerate pederasty and pedophilia
Protestants – the opposite of everything above
Christian Scientist – Die from diseases and not getting treated
Episcopalians – rich, elite, liberal, Eastern Establishment, proper and has Catholic dressing
Jehovah’s Witnesses – loves to knock on doors. Don’t vote or accept blood. Don’t celebrate holidays.
Lutherans – Like to sing
Methodists – pretty much agnostic, like Episcopalians but lower class and less hoity-toity.
Mormons – very nice people that ostensibly value character and have very bizarre habits. Goodie two shoes. Polygamists. Wear fleece, Likes Jell-O. White. Doesn’t like the gays.
Pentecostal – rattlesnake handling, speak in tongues
Presbyterians – Scottish descendants, therefore thrifty
Seventh-Day Adventists – eats haystacks, don’t dance, washes feet, canned foods, lives long time
Southern Baptists – conservative, don’t dance
States
Alabama – Diabetes
Alaska – Survivalists, ride dog sleds, smokes po
Arizona – Old people and libertarians
Arkansas – Get in feuds. Corncob pipes. Don’t wear shoes. Dirt Poor
California – Plastic surgery. “Frisco”
Colorado – Stoners and skiers
Connecticut – Rich WASPS and the poor white people who mow their lawns
Delaware – Mad Scientists, incredibly statistically average cities
Florida – Gators & Cubans
Georgia – Ray Charles fan, drinks Coke. “Hotlanta”
Hawaii – Meth and urban squalor
Idaho – White survivalists
Illinois – Polish, fat people. “Da bears.”
Indiana – Indy 500 tailgaters
Iowa – Attractive and fat farm wives, Field of Dreams
Kansas – Dorothy and private ghost towns
Kentucky – Smokers. Go to race tracks all the time.
Louisiana – Swamp People/Cajuns & Deliverance. Banjos.
Maine – Rural lobster eaters
Maryland – Biotech workers, statisticians, abnormally demographically average cities, and suicidal cultists who flock to Daniel Pinchbeck
Massachusetts – Liberal marijuana smoking chowder eating tall food hyper-educated Hahvahd yahd Zoom heroin junkies wearing tennis shoes
Michigan – Rappers, out of work auto workers
Minnesota – Scandinavians, Somalians, Al Franken, Lefties, & swamps.
Mississippi – religious, college football fan
Missouri – Overly nice, baseball freaks, half southern half midwestern
Montana – Outdoorsmen. Eats meat. Has a horse.
Nebraska – Cornhuskers, call centers
Nevada – Gamblers, white trash, retired pop stars, mafia
New Hampshire – Libertarian gun owners paradise
New Jersey – Guidos, New Yorkers with bad water and big hair
New Mexico – Impoverished Indians, Billy Jack, and uber-rich Taos
New York – Homer Simpson Country up top, fast-talking Jews Gays and Italians at the bottom
North Carolina – Hot hippy girls and Research Triangle Yuppies
North Dakota – Badlands
Ohio – Fat boring people
Oklahoma – Indians
Oregon – Antifa paradise
Pennsylvania – Dwight Schrute country, Quakers, Bloodhound Gang, Rocky, Steve-O, bands, overly planned geometric mass planned cities
Rhode Island – Catholics and corruption
South Carolina – Huguenots, racism, and Steve Colbert country
South Dakota – Stoned Presidents
Tennessee – Country music
Texas – Armed and God-fearing cowboys. Houston:
Libertarians and Astronauts Austin: Hippies and
techies Dallas: Yuppies
Utah – Mormons. Polygamists. Kind and genuine.
Vermont – Drug addicts and dairy farmers
Virginia – Terrible drivers, tobacco farmers. Bowties. Lily
Pulitzer dresses. North: politicians, government agent,
defense contractors, spies South: Hillbillies
Washington – Geeks
West Virginia – Oxycontin addicts
Wisconsin – Cheese people, Happy Days
Wyoming – Cow tippers
Sexuality
Bisexuals are simply undecisive and are all sluts and everyone hates them.
Gay men are effeminate sissies and are made that way by mothers who dress them up as little girls. Gay men dress well, have good taste, physically fit, go to gyms and circuit parties, love Ketamine, Meth, and MDMA, friendly and outgoing. Neat, like scarves, show tunes, Pet Shop Boys, flowers, are fun to go shopping with, hang their hand down and go “Gee, Guy!” After PREP came out, none use condoms.
The alternate stereotype is the leather-wearing daddy with chaps and chains.
Homosexuality is a choice and is a result of bad morals. Gay conversion camps work if they just accept enough Jesus.
Lesbians are either Lipstick Lesbians or Bull Dykes. Bull Dykes like to be called Bull Dykes. Lesbians like Subarus and K.D. Lang, watching Ellen, and their relationships never last. If they find a Real Man they would instantly lose their lesbian-ness.
Transgender are murderers, monsters to be referred to as “it” and represent the fall of civilization
Transvestites are automatically gay.
Sports
Asians are inferior at sports compared to the rest of the world.
The vast majority of athletes are terrible with money management.
Baseball Player – Partier. Steroids.
Basketball Player – Thug. Black esp. those with Nilote (Southern Sudan/Kenya) blood, “from the hood”
Black Athletes showboat too much and are disrespectful to President Trump. All black athletes want to be rappers, and all rappers want to be athletes. Always marry white women because they can afford them and don’t want the grief from a black woman. Lack intelligence so they rely on their superior athleticism to get an edge. Young black American athletes don’t like baseball.
Boxer – Dumb, brain-damaged, coulda been a contender, Rocky
Collin Kaepernick ruined the NFL
Female athletes are all lesbians
Football Player – Prima Donna, domestic violence, brain injury. HGH. Quarterback: White golden boy Running backs/wide receivers: Black
Golfer – traditional, polite
Gymnasts – If male, gay. If female, bitchy and competitive. Coaches are rapist pedophiles if male, lesbian predators if female
Hockey Player – White thugs
Jews don’t play contact sports.
NASCAR – Poor white rednecks
Skateboarders – All addicted to drugs and hard living
Soccer – Americans suck at it because they aren’t team players. All Brazilian athletes are good at soccer.
Student Athletes are dumb, and major in things like kinesiology
Transsexuals are ruining sports.
White athletes lack athleticism so they rely on their intelligence to get an edge.
Winter Sports – Privileged White athletes
All women’s sports are inferior to men’s sports. At high levels, men are faster, stronger, and jump higher than women.