Updated 2 years ago
– I did not write this, but whoever did deserves a bump –
Cityfox – You can’t stand Avant Gardner, and the “bro” crowd it brings nowadays, but you can’t resist the lineups they bring, and saving $15 on your Visionaire app to pay double at the bar through your Billfold wristband seems oddly enticing.
City Of Gods – You are set to pay over $100 twice in as many months to see Mira DJ, and you are stoked about it! Burner vibes! Getting backstage at the Mayan Warrior stage to take some Instagram stories would make your year.
Bang On – you still like bass music in 2019, or you are one of the small herd of DJs playing the silent disco stage.
Party Monsters – you’re excited to see Blond:ish, but more excited for the social media cool points for attending a fetish themed party at a bougie Manhattan club. You’re not sure if the party is affiliated with the club kid turned murderer of 90s lore, but somehow that makes it seem even more risque!
The Motel – You are in Pineapple motel or Floasis camp, or your friend is and pinged you the day of the ticket sale. You are paying $95 + fees for David Hohme and Pillowtalk, but holding the toughest ticket in town and bonding with your Pineapple camp mates makes it seem so worth it.
Elevation – a free ticket appears! You don’t have plans and this is the moment you’ve been waiting for. However, you can’t convince your friends to ditch their plans so you buy a tier 4 COG ticket on the FOMO Facebook page and go to that instead.
Resolute – you haven’t heard a melody in years and you carry that as a point of pride. You like your booms and chcks to hit you a certain kind of way. Your go to dance move is shifting weight onto your left foot. You couldn’t afford Sunwaves this year so in between chain smoking cigs you tell your pals about the time in 2017 when you stayed up through a 30 hour Raresh set on meth only to pass out and make it on the Sleeping People of Mamia page. This was your finest moment.
Circoloco – You dislike costumes but dislike the Burning Man scene even more. You admit the lineup isn’t as strong as past years, but your dealer has premium cocaine in stock, and you’re not about to stay home, so you venture out for your annual reminder that getting pushed around by guys from New Jersey named Nick and Steve doesn’t vibe you quite the same way the DC10 main room did.
Aftermoth – It’s the end of the night, but you’re on a really good one so against your better judgement you hop in an uber out to Ridgewood. You try to negotiate a discount for 20 minutes at the door, but Chloe isn’t having it so you bite the bullet and pay full freight. Luckily, your friend gives you a free bump of K in line for the bathroom
Members Only – You’ve been chasing the 67 Ingraham rabbit for years, and your brain has suppressed the fact that you’ll probably never find it. You’re sad to see the Bushwick A/V address on the RSVP email, but perk up when you score a $5 discount at the door. You lose your friends inside and get weirded out by the bald guy next to you as you’re not sure whether he’s talking to you or to himself.
