Andrey Korneyev

How I first met Andrey

We were on a Brooklyn beach in the mid 2000s. He had this CD, which i played in my boombox. This is the dirtiest Israeli trance ever made

About Andrey Korneyev

Social Media

Facebook – Instagram – Twitter

Writings

Medium.com – Anton “onTy” Toom Obituary – OnTonca arThou – Divine Substances – Wisdom, Enlightenment, Universe – State of Trinity – Personal art project: https://web.archive.org/web/20200808111432/http://www.blockpost.me/ – Blockpost Facebook page – Yandex.Zen (Russian language)

Background

Born in Moscow; studied Document Systems at Bauman Moscow State Technical University (BMSTU)
With a birth of 1980, and this education listed above, this places Andrey arriving in NYC about the year 2000. Impressive, considering his quick mastery of speaking and writing English.
He quickly found trouble in America, and found our little music scene in New York.

Arrests

2014 Church Arson Arrest – 2018 Schoolground Arrest – WFSB – WTNH

“About Me” from Facebook

Hello, my name is Andrew. I think I’m an unusual person. Mysterious events occur around me that others do not notice. At first, it seemed to me that the film “The Matrix” was made about me. How it seemed to me, and whether it was some kind of obsession or hallucination is hard to say. I thought about it for a long time, and this event greatly influenced my life. I think there are other people with a similar fate. Some kind of invisible power creates movies with similar people and faces, there is a connection between us. Why and how it exists – I can also explain. If you are interested to find out about it, or you feel that you are one of them – write, we have something to talk about. Do not forget – inside you there is a communicator that is connected with your thoughts, and it would be better if you obeyed what he asks you to do. Namely – not to sleep, not to eat, not to drink (according to a certain regimen). For details – in a personal. I am sure I have friends who are also involved.
It takes you to meet saint people and participate in holy rituals to get to the enlightening states of mind.
Following principles of power and grace should not become cult.
Any observing entity would at most grasp paradigm of irreversibility through ability to hold stability of the observing principle.
Ed. Note: another friend made similar claims in the last 1990s. And their last name was Walsh.

What Andre wrote about Ontonca… eerily prophetic.

From his friend Andre Welsh:
onTy was a person who will never be replaced in our community. He was unique. He did much to help us achieve what we are. We will always miss him, as a friend, as a boss, as an organizer, as a colleague, as a psy-trancer, as a burner, as a man, as a person. I will never forget the time that I spent with him talking about life, our existence on this planet (and whatever meaning it can make!), our purpose, our role, our future. Not anyone will have a future. Future is not for anyone. We missed many, my dear friends, and now we miss onTy.
I know it’s hard to believe, but I think there’s a dark force that follows us, killing our friends in a strange and unusual way. I believe there’s a pattern behind all these deaths of our beloved people. It’s up to you to believe it or not, but I feel there’s a necessity to pronounce that.
I feel we are connected in some way, it is hard to tell to what extent we are connected, and what do we have to do in order to become better species, but future of our community depends on us.
I HOPE THIS SUDDEN AND STRANGE EVENT WILL JOIN US AND MAKE US UNDERSTAND WHY WE ARE HERE.
To me, onTy was a modern icon of a computer geek (in a good way) and an advanced freak, truly belonging to our community, fitting the spot better than anyone else. It was magical to see how good he was at organizing parties, joining us together, making us happy and letting us forget about tomorrow, so that all the troubles will be left out. I believe in magic, now do you, dear beloved friends?
Everybody has bad habits. Unfortunately, this didn’t keep onTy intact. I think it would be sincere to mention it here. I know onTy as a person who loved methamphetamines over the limit. It is unknown to me what caused his death, but I believe it’s connected with drugs in a certain way that not everyone would know.
Now let us forget about tomorrow, and give praise to another lovely person that will not open his eyes today, like we do, and be able to look at the bright blue sky, be able to breathe nice air, and enjoy another day in Paradise, where we all dwell.
-Andre W.

July 19, 2019: Tranceam.org welcomes ANDREY WELSH as site editor!

He will occasionally be adding to his content on his page. If you saw his work before, check it out again!  There’s a whole lot more!

Andrey Korneyev’s TranceAm.org Page

Here was Andrey’s Page on Tranceam.org. I set it up to offer him a creative outlet. I gave him some ideas for images and basic WordPress tips. We got along and exchanged a lot of ideas. His mental state seemed to have improved – he was pretty lucid and coherent in the times I spoke with him. He went overboard once with racism and homophobia but he explained he was being sarcastic and I believed him. I told him firmly to stay away from drugs:

A lot of people have addictive personalities. You see them all the time, gorging chocolate, losing their house over gambling debts, losing their careers and families over alcoholism.
But the hole gets deeper as you descend into the depths of madness. About one of thirty people should not use psychedelics. How do you know if you are one of these people? You may get clues from a neurotic personality or your past mental history, but there is no 100% reliable litmus test. It’s ultimately a matter of faith whether you go through the door intact.
Andre W. is a curious case on the dark side of psychedelics. He is a beloved Russian computer programmer that filtered into the local New York psychedelic scene on the beaches of Brighton in the mid-2000s. In retrospect, he shouldn’t have taken anything, but it was everywhere, and he did. To fit in? Curiosity? Boredom? Why does anyone start dabbling?
Cutting the story short, after a failed suicide attempt where he jumped off a bridge and crippled his leg, he burst into a local church, he ripped up their Bible, and set it on fire with Molotov cocktails.
After an arrest, imprisonment, parole, and a long rehabilitation, like many of us, Andre is clawing his way back to reality. Help him. He is very intelligent and has a beautiful soul. He needs the love and compassion afforded to all human beings.
Most importantly, he came back from the abyss.
-Mac Hinelf

Andre Welsh

by Andrey W.
https://web.archive.org/web/20200808111432/http://www.blockpost.me/

FREE PSYTRANCE!

See https://www.last.fm/user/progheaven999 for tracklist!

http://radio.blockpost.us:8000/stream

Holy guest

Our home planet is a strange place. Once in a while, a human being receives a moment in his life. This happens when an extraordinary circumstance comes upon him. Meeting random people or witnessing unusual activity, which could only be explained as something superstitious, are simple examples of that. Synchronicities.

Unfortunately, even though there’s no explanation, human beings tend to find a simple one. And forget about it. Interplanetary consciousness enshrouds our family. We are connected! We are live, we are conscious, we are self-aware, we are egoless, endless, unlimited. We are one! Holy guest understands that, but life would only be too sweet if everything is copacetic. Seek, and ye shall find! He, who has ears, will hear. Those who have eyes, will see. A flyover of spirit over our planet happens occasionally. Not often, but not infrequently.

Perverted morality

Every planetoid that inhabits the planet of Smertrios has an implanted microdevice that keeps the codex of dignity, honor, and faith. Every newborn is secretly injected with a set of data that holds the immutable decree that no Skrull shall ever put asunder. The straight principle of the codex assumes no indulgence or intemperance. Deceitful and treacherous sinful individuals are publicly shamed and ferociously punished just to outline the value of the law. Paradoxically, every Skrull surrenders any bit of sanity in regard to their ridiculous rules. The truthful and righteous part of the population dominates over the unlucky, crooked and crippled. The impeccable truth rules over the planet of Smertrios. The ugly straightforward truth is instilled in every single being.

Dramatic pageantry of white apes

Far away from their beloved Mutterland, a paradise where the grass is green and girls are pretty, a troupe consisting of trained male Caucasian dwarf peasants is performing an unforgettable theatrical show. Mademoiselle Peregrine, the effeminate commanding surveillant attentively overlooks the thrilling yet lamentable act. With unimaginable dexterity, thick and rosy-cheeked servants are jumping, twisting flips as well as juggling skittles and pins. Their red necks and limbs are flushed from the exertion. In these latter days, the odd circus looks highly grotesque. The thrill of the crowd is almost enough to forget that these enslaved peasants were punished by their sovereign master. They were punished to serve in a display of embarrassment and humility to the powerful overseas empire. It forced famine and devastation over their once blossoming country. Amused foreigners are scoffing and mocking the pathetic buffoons. Everything has a price.

Religion of Rastafarian reptiles

Over a period of a thousand years, terraraptors from the planet Draugr developed a cult of survival and service to the dark memory of their powerful and mighty ancestor. Every year they conduct gladiator battles, where the strongest specimen becomes the victor and is chosen as the new representative. In his righteous, glorious, despicable burst of anger. The dignified elect obliterates fifty younglings. He does so in order to purge the growing number of successors and to clear the path for new blood. The glorified monster is then praised as he enters his final breathtaking battle. A crowd’s cacophonous roar surrounds him as he meets fifty tantamount rivals, grownup, muscular, intimidating beasts. The gory scene of the shocking outrage that follows is sanctified and then abandoned. The blazing light of Tiān Rǔ is left as the only witness of this strange circumstance for many years forth. Wægn ðêoden dêaðwêrig, sêcan âlibban sê cyning!

Cerebral deficiency of military trumpeters

Cracks and crunches that sound like teeth breaking continually grow inside a laryngeal abscess and pulsate with inaudible pain. The pattern of painful sounds resemble the modern audio systems that are intended to reflect mental states as well as stimulate the synaptic neural flow of thought. Sounds are stuck like a jagged fishbone in the throat of a giant fledging baby bird from the patriarchal rooster species. The baby rooster, with an orange greasy scruff over its small and ugly skull, is fastened inside of a cocoon, emasculating it and giving it a ridiculous, feeble appearance. The eggshell of the humiliated monster is pecked right through; it is scattering and spreading out dogmatic slogans about the futility of people’s cares. Behold, ye! The prophecy shall be fulfilled.

Embedded communicator

A great discovery has extended my view of the world, and I hope this short note will help others to attain an advanced philosophical and practical knowledge..

It is commonly known that biological lifeforms have an inherent ability to understand time. I assume that sense develops from the ability to feel all the minute changes that occur in the body. Alternation of day and night should constitute the main reason for animals to feel the passage of time, but even in the absence of an obvious shift in light, beings can still feel the cycle of time. What is time, anyway? It is the experience of change. A sense of time is the foremost primordial ability to perceive the outside world. By sensing their own bodies, creatures become aware of changes in their habitat – reactions to immediate placement, connections to everything around. Ancient techniques of uniting spirit with the body, such as meditation, teach how to become aware of the subtle world. teach how to become aware of the subtle world. Even with closed eyes and muted ears, being detached from the usual picture of the outside, being separated from the way we’re accustomed to experiencing it, there’s a chance of sensing certain patterns that transcend the limited horizon of personal imagination.

Actually, vision and hearing blind us from forming a broader connection with the world. Reality knocks on the doors of perception. It rashes to reach the senses. The communicator inside of the body is able to receive signals from far away. It is similar to antenna, receiving even the slightest variations in the electromagnetic field. The question is how to decipher the communicated messages. Listening to the thoughts that pop up in the brain, then trying to distinguish them from personal thinking (something that occurs due to internal brain and body activity), would serve as the first steps. The body reacts to different factors that reflect the state of Reality in which it exists.

This unusual sense of connectivity with others is not something available to everybody at first attempt. Hypothetically, it’s possible to get in touch with anyone, but I guess this is not how it usually happens.

The usual way of living coerces us to devote all our attention to everyday activities. Thinking about the future, reminiscing, remembering the past, enjoying the present. Breaking from the endless cycle of mundane existence can help open doors to another realm. Monks isolate themselves from the obligations of day-to-day living in order to gain a pure, unique grasp of existence, totally unobscured by unnecessary daily activity. Detaching from common sense, obvious knowledge, and apparent facts also offers a possibility of seeing the world in a different way. The world manifests itself into every being; they say that living creatures are simply pieces of a bigger fractal of unified consciousness. This connection exists within the reality; consciousness experiences, observes, and reflects its ubiquitous environment. We are all connected!

It is not an easy task to realize and to understand the true nature of consciousness, which could not only be bound to one’s own self, but also to something foreign, and is not limited to the body where it dwells. Consider that there are other beings that are all related to each other, in a way that is not explained by rational intelligence. Every person has their own imaginary world in their head, but these worlds connect, making our common existence a shared experience. It’s difficult to make sense of, difficult to imagine, but this connection binds all living things together.

Receiving original buzz from “the other side“, noticing it, associating it with a significant communication (in the usual meaning) – is a rare jewel. The communicator is a connection mechanism, which is an unusual and not scientifically explicable extension of the body. It works!

Changing the Motherland or Betraying the Motherland or, as it seems more definitively to you

Treason deserves a separate paragraph in our story.

The betrayal of the Motherland is the song, a fragment of which will stun and inspire tears through the heights of the firmament, above which the stars and the eternal sun and the rest of the sky burn like a fucking lantern, in a pattern, and this will not fade until the onset of the apocalypse.

What are you expecting from fleeing your native land?

Tourism, alcoholism, drunken household riots, a glass of cognac with a slice of lemon, cable TV, the modern office, luxury car rentals, successful businesses, sugar buns, bagels with poppy seeds, espresso coffee in a cezve, radio London, free Paris, and everything that seduces you more than what is in your hand at any given point of time in your present miserable existence.

Stuff your Motherland in your asses! You don’t need it. Zhirinovsky and Putin are building an iron curtain there, and hackers snatched the victory from the beloved Hillary-Killari right out of her beak. Her e-mails were made available to the public for reading, but who read them at all? What is in them?

Who cares about Soros, Osama bin Laden, whose name sounds mysteriously close to Barack Obama (Osama) and his vice, Joe Biden (Laden)? The origin of these names is veiled under the cowardice of the government laborers.

Who abolished the national debt to the slanted-eyed ching-chong people? The main thing is to help us with the imported resources, cutlery, and electronics. We will make the furniture sets ourselves, with our own hands, and who else will do this?

Who will help the Motherland in difficult times, if the prospective immigrant Jews and Ukrainians dig their own lands, and we have nothing else left to us apart from our own chains, which we can’t sell? What will happen if no one maintains the desire and inherited strengths to crunch on the frozen ground under the ruins of the former power of the eternal empire?

On satellites, navigation systems, traffic congestion, and gasoline

The oldest satellite has patrolled the atmosphere of our planet for quite a long time; in fact, it goes around the earth ninety times per day. According to some intelligence data, there are approximately eight satellites of that type. The new satellite was launched into orbit by the father of aeronautics, Elon Musk. This is his most important achievement, in addition to selling flamethrowers and conceiving of the tunnel from Los Angeles to the East Coast, which is still mostly unfinished. Will consumers think of paying for the transfer of satellites into orbit? Where does the money for such ambitious projects come from? “We believe in Elon Musk, we believe in Elon Musk,” a crowd of demonstrators is chanting at the White House.

Let’s think about whether the satellite can control its flight, and if so, what technology is used to carry out such maneuvers? Cinema and television offer an explanation: so-called ion-thrusts! Eureka! The real breakthrough of space and time has been accomplished by a sector of great people unknown in Europe and Asia, people unknown to the Nobel Prize committee, who have not even received recognition in their own country. Good taxpayers don’t know their names! Is it possible to move a mass weighing four tons in a vacuum and made weightless by zero gravity for a few millimeters with such technology? This is all that’s needed—just a couple of millimeters and the spacecraft is already in the right focus, watching the deployment of our convoy of cars, conveying coordinates and corrections, and taking into account its own position.

Such a system unexpectedly conquered the entire population of the planet smoothly in almost no time at all: it is enough just to purchase a device, and voila! You are in contact! Good American John proved to the whole world that he could easily buy oil from Arabs and Russians, and in Alaska, he can also start drilling without having the nightmares that darken the soul: use everything, use it forever!

And there is no need for terrorism, and the bearded madman Bin Laden destroyed the towers of the World Trade Center in vain.

Let’s now ask the hapless inventors of this system: what do you think? How will such a scheme affect the amount of oil recovered from the insides of our planet? Does the blue giant’s weight decrease or increase after creating such a miracle of technology, or will the process of reusing, recycling, and reducing prevent a loss in resources and matter on Earth? Let’s also consider whether the melting of ice can change the inclination of the Earth’s axis of rotation. I hope you like the panorama on the screens of your smartphones, and now you understand the importance of bowing down to the fierce opponent that dominates on all fronts, and also the capricious greatness of human presence in the universe, the ambitious sales plans for Hennessey Venom F5, Aston Martin, Cadillac, and BMW stock, as well as the expansion of the human mind outside the solar system.

About the healthcare system and medicine

In order to become a doctor, you need to study painstakingly, for a very long time; so long, in fact, that it becomes impossible fairly quickly after graduation to remember everything that had been taught to you. Twenty years of study, comrades, is no joke. This is no longer considered study—instead, this is a way of life. After twenty years of education, of course, you’ll get a good job and salary, an office, telegraph, telephone, secretary, the respect of colleagues, a white gown and a stethoscope around your neck, three times “Ku” as a sign of respect. What do doctors and nurses do? The distribution of labor has reached such a level that, most of the time, the medical personnel drink coffee, read newspapers, talk with colleagues, use their smartphones, and smoke marijuana. The only thing that the doctor does is talk to the patient and prescribe medication. Well, in most cases. Drugs are the main product of the pharmacological industry. Do not joke with drugs. Old folks take 20 pills in the morning and in the evening. And do not ask for cereals—only pills.

The opioid crisis is also a strange and mysterious thing. How and to whom these narcotics are sold over the counter is unknown. We know that these drugs are wildly popular among young people in clubs and at music festivals. Again, it’s an additional and dust-free source of income for anyone who is willing to apply diligence to this type of activity.

I work in a pharmacy.
I sell all kinds of drugs.
For diarrhea and constipation,
And for the disease that can’t get the dick hard.
(A. Laertsky – “Pharmacy”)

There are many different kinds of drugs; it is difficult to tell where they come from. Who collects grass and roots after gathering them from swamps and thickets, and then who grows them in vegetable gardens with hydroponic plant systems? Whether the hare kicked off an oak bark, whether squirrels threw up cloudberries, or whether the devil scored fungi, who turns these ingredients into drugs? Siberia is big, colleagues – herbs and roots come from the forests and swamps, don’t they?

Do I need to take medications, and if so, how often? My acquaintances and I see it quite simply. In the case of a deadly threat, call the intensive care unit or immediately go to the morgue.

Who makes these medicines? Who will feed our multi-billion population—and it’s growing, comrades, growing—with pills and powders, vaccines against evil viruses? Who will pack a forest product of national pride into boxes and bundles? Imagine: Siberia was a separate continent a million years ago, a massive tundra and taiga exists up to our times since then. They are the property of our empire, rightfully belonging to us! We’ve been living here for a long time, the path ahead of us is lengthy, and we have a truckload of time. Our future, like a stake in the ass, is standing right in front of our eyes.

On Sinful Thoughts and Motivations

Neuron clusters in the brain create a network and are laid out in the same way as optical fibers in wires that distribute international communication signals.
Although we are united in our motivations and intentions are universal, who would turn them into reality and punish the unfaithful, if creation, not destruction, is what Allah wants?

Every man is the architect of their own fortune and must punish those who are abominable before the eyes of the Almighty Creator.

On the Transmigration of Souls and the Difference Between Good and Evil

How would you stop the endless cycle of soul transmigration?

Church operates like a machine: sinners burn in hell while being roasted on frying pans by demons; enormous heat makes them jump, the righteous rejoice together in progressive Paradise consuming alcohol, smoking marijuana, feasting on pork, using the Internet connection, driving cars, going to the movies and walking down streets.
The president is in his marble throne wearing white gloves and a golden chain with sapphires and emeralds on his neck, playing the fipple flute and summoning his soldiers to fight.

The soldiers pummel dissenters and insurgents with their bludgeons, since the attempt to seize power brought no desired results, proved unsuccessful and was not understood.

The Heavenly Fuhrer failed to pull off Victory, not enough Jews got burned, not enough people got killed, not enough blood was shed. More calculations were done.

Radioactive pep (let’s charge it up!)

The Far East communication channel revealed interesting data: they come through the cerebral inclusions located on the inside of the skull. These moon-shaped sinusoidal cavities are what’s left of the hair growing into the brains of the Young Guard’s nominal chief, who is responsible for transferring corpses and of his uncatchable aides. The division of the army general headquarters located on Spitsbergen Island is already tired of transmitting encrypted operational data from the fields to its foreign agents. The adversary’s nuclear forces are far greater than the torsion moment of the reaction wheels of electro mobile and modern weapon deployment systems. Let us defend our Motherland against the faith-breaking intervention of the aggressor. Join us in countering the atmospheric column looming over us and the eye-opening solar radiation flowing through slits in the sky.

On UFOs and dinosaurs

How the UFO struck dinosaurs during prehistoric times: but this is the Loch Ness monster, rather than a dinosaur, it was not easy to stick wooden pegs into his nostrils right away.

With a hammer, a little piece of brick, some turpentine, some acid, the scoundrel’s spinal column was finally put back into place, but cracks from the unheard-of shaking were left in it, and the crescent moon was left upside-down in the sky.

He took it easy, went for a walk unattended, his wifey crocodile wept over him, of course, but there was nothing that could’ve kept the monster in his cage, he himself wanted to get killed, he was forced to swallow his tongue and started choking.
When he came back to his senses, all magic from his wings was gone, then the adder turned over and began to breathe flaming fire just like an Octobrist in King Artur’s court.

It was such an unhappy story that happened. How would I communicate this to the courtiers? I don’t even know and do not want to know.

It’s not my business, I was not hired to serve as a messenger, I don’t want to exchange my socks for tobacco and won’t drink vodka – a malevolent good deeds artisan covered all the walls with leatherette, a carpet from yellow leaves wrinkled the fingers; no cockroach crawled into the ear, the darling failed to bite through the iron knobble needle with the teeth and her boobs; a guy is rolling a cigarette while sitting on a mound of earth, contemplating and doubting; his case got closed, the chalk fell off, got crumbled, he has grown thin and is slacking off, betting on two does not stick a nail in the palm of the hand, nor is he bothered by his cap.

On the Transmission of Ideas over Distance

The sounds of modern systems of analog signal reproduction and the stimulation of the synaptic neural flows of thought inside a laryngeal abscess continually grow and pulsate with inaudible pain. They are stuck like a bone in the throat of an unfledged baby bird of rooster species. The eggshell of the profound patriarch-thinker, scattering and spreading out dogmatic slogans about the futility of people’s cares, has been pecked right through.

Lives of illegals within our empire

The senior agent of the service of the mobilized subdivision of illegal government subsidy distributors has nibbled away the carrot tops in his drinking companions’ gardens.

Such a maneuver turned out to be wrongful and malicious from the perspective of the emperor’s interests (and let’s be honest with the public, throw away bigotry and break our bad habits).

The dance of the priest of oblations in the form of cadaver stock and the larvae pus used in experiments stirred up foam in the throat of the goat-like elder democrat statesman to such an extent that all the motorized security guards took off on foot into the depths of the blue-eyed sea landscape observer.

We have long been trying to get to this point: now let’s break the illegal Pink Floyd wall and clear up the path for our little brothers and destitute kinsmen with our legs and fists, so that the road to the brightly radiating future would open up ahead of them, and they would have no roadblocks on their way and would monetize their back-breaking labor for our nation’s glory, prosperity and enlightenment, and that the flow of dough into our pockets would be sped up, which would make all the earthly workers feel better.

We do believe in the Democracy Universe, equal rights and peace in the entire world. Let’s get done with the slave shackles of sexual minority representatives in mountain villages; let them feed on manna from heaven, rather than thistles, play saxophones, lead legitimate lifestyles and curse their former tyrants and carabineers through gnashing of teeth, but this time, in a quiet and peaceful, proper way.

The obvious and the peculiar in the subtle world of animals and animated enemies, or why the chief commander does not like to waste time on nonessentials. Watch our news in movie theaters and on TV. We will transmit to you our coordinates by encrypting the nerve endings of your limbs; teach physiology both at school and in the courtroom! Positive and negative vibrations will be transmitted inside the fingers, toes, palms, wrists, and feet.

A good bath feels like it lasts a thousand years

Nuclear power in the head of electricity consumers: are you serious? Who do you think you are? God? Or maybe Jesus with his disciples breaking bread and drinking wine, creating memories to last centuries? Can a Roman legionnaire become a legend, or is this just a fantasy? What confuses men in women: what is the difference between their views on the same thing? The torn Chechen dick found in the toilet and the disfigured corpse separated from its phallus by maniacs were thrown from the edge of another dimension into the bedroom.

The underground system of signs and mirrors, located throughout the world, ultimately testifies to the inevitable Apocalypse. After all, it is in our solar system that a chain reaction will start, which will lead to the formation of a super-star shell of the universe. Events in the city of Kerch, Russia, as well as the behavior of a new Manchurian candidate for the presidency, Major of the GRU V.V. Krutin, unanimously lead to this outcome. A long and hard journey is coming. Rejoice, dear comrades.

On the importance of fasting and collective responsibility

Real Christians are hard workers. How do you promote religion to the people? It’s very simple; there is a reliable formula: invent the alphabet, develop the printing press, distribute pencils and paper to the peasants, connect to the Internet, let them write down their thoughts, talk to each other, praise life, celebrate the motherland, sing songs, and watch the Discovery Channel. The invasion of skin-headed Ostro-goths from the Southern land forced Emperor Constantine to sell the tablets of history and wisdom to the hairy and stinking barbarians from the North for three squads of select guardsmen who were supposed to represent his interests in the war. Who else would protect the tender and lazy patricians buried in luxury and idleness, unable to tear their asses from the oak-lacquered chairs and tables? Then, Constantine decided to make way for the unheard-of and unspeakable miracle so that his family, children, wives, mistresses, co-workers, and colleagues would not be crippled. He came up with an interesting and unusual system of serving the cult of higher intelligence, which subdued his thoughts and intentions by its beauty of harmony and balance, before his very own eyes. This system was very simple in its plan: every true Christian should be hungry like a wolf the whole year, and in the spring, he should make the sacrifice of a jar of stomach juice, a bag of grain, and an appetizing lamb to prove his faith and confirm the common goal and the difficult fate ahead of them, looming like a cross on the Calvary. This is how the peasants in Russia became obliged to a foreign service, which was called “the post,” as if it were a military or trade checkpoint where the verification of documents was carried out. “The post” saved the legendary Byzantine family from inevitable ruin, bail, and death, threatening the empire into devastation. And how about you, dear comrades? Do you observe fasting, do you bow down on your knees, and do you watch the imperishable and omnipotent sight of the Heavenly Father before your eyes as it is written in the holy books with the blood and vomiting of the sufferers?

The will of Prometheus

Willpower can launch a little man on a mission, plug a hole in a bunker with his mortal body, to raise the entire regiment to attack. Who rules reality, or is it the mythical Prometheus who stole fire from the gods to help the Boy Scouts? Let’s extinguish the fire of Prometheus as our forefathers taught us to do in a pioneering manner, dear friends—the only way we know.

The head of my friend sticks out of the floor like the head of Said from the movie White Sun of the Desert. He sees everything I do, remembers everything, and smiles softly. I walk past him and no longer pay attention. Apathy has possessed me. How do I get him out of the floor? However, when he laughs and mocks me, I kick him with the tip of my boot right in the face. The eternal eye in my forehead is an eternal conscience, an eternal memory, an eternal shame. A room full of mirrors: you cannot hide from God, so what do you do? Yesterday, we had a conversation, and he told me that he had dreamed that I had ruined life on the entire planet. The elusive avengers were on my tail, and Trinity from The Matrix was on a motorcycle.

Ironmen

Strong health, deep sleep, and plenty of beer can ruin your life. There’s an iron pot instead of a head, and in it, the lifeguard of the planet of large calculations, where the civilization of robots lives, is boiling his thoughts and intentions. Today is a holiday: the white horse understood from what dimension the stork brings children, and where the endless cycle of reincarnations of human flesh ends. The energetic complex is a colossus with feet of clay: people do not understand where electricity and oil come from, and when they run out, how they must feed the civilization, and who will be responsible for it.

The miracle men

Wonderworkers are people manifested by strange phenomena, incomprehensible to those who observe them. What roles do these people play? Despite the fact that from our bell tower it is difficult to decipher the meaning, only generations and sincere eyewitness testimonies can distinguish the real from the fake. However, let’s try to reach out and let others know the reason for such phenomena. According to our information, this does not happen in vain. There has to be a reason.

The Great Ra and walkers

The slanted eyes and twisted tongue do not allow walkers to ask the great Ra for hay money. The civilization of the ancient Egyptians built the pyramids knowing that either Sirius was shining on them from the orbit or the golden coffin of the founder of the Jewish religion, Moses, did not let them sleep and made thirst, killing the original heirs of the royal families.

Projects of the millennia

Industrial projects spanning thousands of years and the mental work of the personnel of factories and nuclear power plants

Shelezyaka is a planet of large calculations. It’s called “Shelezyaka” because there is an excess of iron, and indeed, it is a rich and fertile planet. Is it true that on Shelezyaka, the brain is the highest-paid humanoid organ, and the mental work performed on Shelezyaka is the most valuable? The global network of brain aspirations and collaborations will choke the population with their own calculations and gadgets. Will there be enough solar power to feed, heat, and cool a huge herd of humanoids? Can the ocean become a swamp, covering all of space and devouring the planet? Is there a perspective of going into outer space or another dimension for a modest tax-paying extraterrestrial? How do we make a form of energy stronger than the sun? Let’s provide a new kind of information war for energy and resources from TV screens and tablets into the wide toothy mouth of a humanoid inhabitant!

Space spaghetti

Light is cosmic spaghetti, but how do you catch a ray of light from a star? The Flying Spaghetti Monster in the solar orbit can’t wait for the burnt leftovers from our table, and this will break the tunnel into a parallel dimension aimed at saving the world and the homeland from the aliens. The culture of invincible power is in strong and reliable hands: TV and radio broadcasting, navigation systems, the tracking of criminals, the fight against dissent, all of that is our sword, who comes for our land, will die from it. The great American Spirit helped the colonists to build roads and industry. Proof of this is in the books, songs, and morals: Corporal Johnny became a national hero simply because he is one-legged and the press likes one-legged martyrs.

How to deceive the Spirit?

How to deceive the Spirit if the incandescent lamp is right in your pineal gland? The little doll of the sacred Jew begins to lament loudly when you are engaged in unnecessary idling, and the High Guard, a protégé of the gray Cardinal at the court, arrives with two stripes on his lapel. Honesty, rectitude, kindness, warmth in the body, and a commander’s will – this is how to conquer the mind of the astral neighbors because we are all connected by the wires, judgments, elections, revelations, and admissions. What our destination happens to be our business. What we are striving for is classified. To the ones who’ll help and take care of us, the table of wisdom will be open, a purple star for long service will be given, an increase in pension shall be granted, and a glass of vodka from the master’s table, a pound of sterling, or a penny for your thoughts will get you what you please.

About measuring systems

The observable, perceptible, and tangible universe, which we measure by our meters, is not as large as the big bang theory was predicting. In the head of a modern scientist, such a model is represented only by the size of a room. Betelgeuse, Rigel, Aldebaran, and Mu Cephei: everything is close, within reach. Here are Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. And here, in fact, the universe has exploded, and everything has started. Strings of audio waves covered body and brains, forcing you to listen to other people’s ballads. How would you eat a small piece of dirt that won’t smell bad? How many unexplored corners exist in this world, and where is the system garbage is being poured into, where does it rot and freeze for eternity?

Our dear and beloved people!

We do understand; and, trust us, things aren’t any better here in orbit. We wish you all the best delightful, incredible, helpful, painfully adorable moments of truth in your broken lives. We deeply believe in the fairness and unselfishness of your motivations and know that, despite the rat-like twitching of your limbs (as well as the nervous tic under the skin of your hands and feet), you who look like those that hogged the last can of stewed meat left to feed the entire guerrilla platoon in the forests of Byelorussia, you hold the wisdom of centuries hidden deep inside the forehead, behind your third eye, in the same way as Swan Princess had done. Accept this selfless gift from our table. Treat it as something important, and write us a few words in response when your destiny favors you so that you can perform such an act. Please understand that you won’t exist on this planet forever, and your unknown close friends are waiting to hear news from you.

Judgment day

On the Finiteness of Existence, or How to Punish Your Own Self?
Basilio, please turn off your phone! Your wife is naked in the spa with two men. Two hundred pushups and off you go to bed! Have you prayed tonight, Desdemona? Today is a beer day, and we’re feeding the horse with bran bread. A sick student jumped down from the windowsill without blowing his nose. Who will go help the mother-in-law move the refrigerator in the morning? Thoughts about a small candle factory and the impending doomsday made Father Theodore climb a mountain, and that was where he gave his signature speech. And who would doubt that?

On Culture and the Arts

Who creates motion pictures? What kind of technology made it possible to implant a miracle into machines? And how long will this continue?

Trained monkeys on TV screens sell culture and the arts for 3 cents, a pack of popcorn, and a soda. It’s so easy for them, as they don’t need special preparations—no muscle or limb training is required. They will perform a robot dance, show you some karate; Bruce Lee will run across the ceiling for your pleasure without raising an eyebrow, blinking an eye, or biting a lip. Conceived an idea, arrived on set, made the correct grimace without thinking. And how about you, our dear ones? Would you be able to act in a movie? Is it difficult to transfer everyday life from kitchens and bedrooms to electronic -photoelectric media, so as to create an effect that would stir up emotions and determine people’s fates? Who creates such movies and TV shows in the first place? Who operates the cameras, and who inserts actors’ actions, words, and exemplary skill into camera frames? Why is the TV screen taller than the estimated film stock frame size? After all, it’s a true miracle that appears right before our naïve eyes, and it’s one that we can have for a worn dollar on any weekend! Actors’ tricks and montage effects have reached such advanced levels that at the next level of progress, thought will be united with will, biophotons will be sent from the screen directly into the visual cortex of the brain, a tunnel like a wormhole will be created that will lead directly from your living room into the luxurious Hollywood studio. You’ll be able to see Julia Roberts and Tom Cruise with your own eyes, say hello to your family, and leave a smiley face on the Alley of Stars.

Trancy-dancy New Year encounters

The chief of the Varangian barbarians, with bare feet and braided hair, had a bottle of mead on the eve of the day of the Meeting of the Lord in the Temple and went to give out flyers to his backward friends. His wife, Anfissa-Barbarissa, cooked pie for her hubby’s birthday, but she was in such a hurry that she had to use guck, nail cuttings, and rat tails instead of pie filling. “How could you!” exclaimed the Great One, for, on great holidays, one can’t eat dirt with horseradish, meat, and spices. Instead, one can scrape from the barns a lot more with hands and feet, nails and claws, and leave that in a knapsack for one’s order-adorned heirs to inherit. Let the soldiers eat it.

Tongues of pagans split off a piece of the heavens and the drops of blood of a pack of crossed-eyed Yadwigas created a whole eternal sea, reaching up to the knees of an entire generation. Meanwhile, there’s laziness and boredom, bitching, eating, and croaking. He just stuffs himself until he’s full and then sleeps deeply, whereas the ugly Americans get drunk, fuck, and travel all around without problems.

The motorized crew of Caucasoid pilots switches the focus of influence of the authoritative freemasons’ lodge toward developing housing spaces created with Lego toys, of which models were created at the popular MuzOboz venue, where children pee and where people eat. The noble-in-the-West resuscitator of Russian children and teenagers, however, declined to comment regarding such information. It is our understanding that this situation will temporarily and inefficiently prolong the suffering of the widows of the exhausted Kursk submarine sailors. We should also add that Beslan mothers can’t stay in mourning forever and that the militants from the task force of night wolf Khanty-Mazumbekov, leader of the Senate majority half, are ready to begin militant purging operations immediately. We are happy that such an outcome turned out to be unexpectedly simple to achieve.

The flying military training instructor was planning to strike the adversary’s territory with missiles and bombs, but having swallowed a strategic cryptocurrency supply, he became unable to cross the Atlantic Ocean. While traveling in the direction of the Madagascar island, he tore apart his abdomen with a claw that was as sharp as a razor, and he buried the remaining fat tissue in a cowardly manner in an unknown spot in the pet cemetery by the farm near Dikanka. It’s from exactly there that the best anthrax samples were obtained.

Combat techno-drones with live brains decided to split off a piece of the moon, so as to make its circular orbit more balanced. However, the rock drills failed to create a hole with the desired diameter. As a result, the mineral samples that were obtained created an asteroid belt, which subsequently ended the existence of the People’s Republic of China, causing the North Atlantic Alliance to lose a partner in its promotion of business and democracy.

The Boring Company (American billionaire Elon Musk’s boring company) dug out a tunnel in which to pack in five hundred cadavers from elite Hollywood subdivisions. The Iraq war did not distract the high-capacity minds of hired local militia rebels and empire infantry generals. A government loan from the population and the black president’s financial grant would leave federal workers without breakfasts and lunches for weeks ahead. However, inherent greed gained the upper hand: people began to restrict the emotional lives of their own children while cutting investments in the arts and food production and distribution technology. And what else, besides hamburgers and Netflix, would be left for a happy taxpayer’s worry-free pastime and unimpeded automobile off-roads expansion, with the geographically boundless call of ubiquitous long-distance location data transmission systems?

Scientists invented a new way to protect intellectual property: while inventor Bill is brewing coffee, making toast with cream cheese and cooking eggs with bacon for himself, sixty-nine Chinese apprentices are eating half-rotten potatoes and drinking chalybeate water from the Yangtze river filtered through stinky foot wraps with holes in them, and they do not care about him at all.

The American Endeavor spaceship that was launched to conquer space, as reported by the press, flew over 120 million miles toward its destination. The readings were copied from the odometer that had been engineered by unknown mathematician Louis Carrol using well-known mathematician Isaac’s genius formula. However, the apparatus was manufactured for Rolls-Royce cars. The battle nuns, aeronauts Regimental Sergeant Kuznetsovskaya and Battalion Private First Class Palchikova, wearing nothing but lingerie, felt compelled to insert this technological wonder into the military torpedo. That said, the landing algorithm had not been developed at all. The criminal negligence of NASA’s aerospace agency engineers knew no bounds; therefore, it did not head to Venus, as had been planned, but got burned up in the atmosphere, and the debris from the destruction drowned in the depths of the Pacific Ocean, somewhere near Easter Island.

Truth and lies in the press and on TV

What do you think is easier, to tell a lie or to conceal something from being known? Why do they show only good news and scoops on TV? Who rules the world by disseminating information, blocking streams of consciousness, stopping up passageways with unwanted nonsense, and continuing to feed out false and unwanted facts? How would you lift up a stone slab from the ground weighing a ton with your bare hands in such a way that it would not draw the enemy’s attention?

On Vows, Lunches, and Promised Lands

America was seized by Spanish conquistadors due to the fact that Old Europe could no longer provide food and ideas for its population of many millions of people who had nothing else to do but to engage in wars and seize prairies. The Spaniards plundered and looted; the English and the French burned, broke, and stole the native peoples’ gold that had been accumulated for centuries by the royal Aztec and Maya families. This did not happen by accident. The invisible mirror system in the heads of well-fed, fat monks and insufficiently hungry prisoners turned suffering into temptation, which is why Prince Ferdinand, King Louis, Baron Ludwig, and Duchess Madeleine yielded to temptation. Having sold a collection of family diamonds and iron cymbals, they had a modest cocktail reception, joined their hands together in a chain-like fashion as a sign of unanimity, and set out on the long journey. That’s how the New World met the Old World.

How pilots in Vietnam fired onboard machine guns at old ladies

Those old ladies were cunning; they would fight for empty beer bottles with string bags and choke each other, grunting and foaming at their mouths; they would throw obstacles in the paths of young blood and pester important people. They imposed a tax, so to say, on the entire community by saying something like, “Give us empty bottles, and we’ll give you your life and clear all obstacles blocking your way. We won’t disturb you. We’ll leave you alone as soon as we collect as many bottles as we need.” Cadet Basil Shukshin and his comrades-in-arms decided to teach the silly old ladies a lesson. The entire village sent the heroes off to accomplish the feat; combat knives, machetes, daggers, and grenades were all put aside, as the old men could not and did not want to go to fight with such weaponry. That’s why they decided to rent two-fighter aircraft in order to once and for all demonstrate their valor, harnessed by just the right amount of horsepower. Acceleration and firing at targets in the form of fake heads filled with hay and wood shavings went flawlessly, and everything was up to the mark. But the first combat flight took the friends by surprise, and that’s why they didn’t manage to kill very many people. The second time, however, they had to use the onboard navigation system and strategic air-to-air missiles in order to efficiently thwart the radio interception of communications between the elite reconnaissance units’ air defense elements. A rocket attack against the armed gang proved unsuccessful; therefore, the Motherland defenders had to use ordinary aircraft machine guns that made brains melt and teeth crumble. But they still had to complete the mission, despite blood puddles, groaning sounds, and pieces of meat flying around in all different directions. Remarkably delightful!

About Baba Yaga and shamanism in early Russia

Why did Baba Yaga eat virgins? Well, science does not tell us who Baba Yaga ate, and when. Of course, nobody wanted to end up on the baking sheet in the oven, and even Prince Igor himself, the word about who spread throughout our multi-ethnic Motherland, did not want to die young and to surrender to the hating and bitching fascist witch. Therefore, while sitting on stakes, warriors in chainmail armor and full battling outfits twitched their fingers and toes and somehow moaned with displeasure, loudly, or with pain in their voices. Nobody knew whether they sang songs, or howled like dogs or animals; when they were heard from afar, it was impossible to say for sure what they were trying to accomplish. That’s why combat units with such a disposition worked as bait for naïve, stupid, uncomplicated, unsophisticated, unmade, untrained, bearded, and straw-haired birch bark and berry collectors. In short, “they drank fresh mead and just like a loaf they sat on a baking sheet and climbed into the oven at Baba Yaga’s command.”

How long did such a schema last? It’s difficult to find a definite answer to this question, but historical sources make it clear that everything was arranged on purpose by some strange unearthly interference in the lives of the primitive people inhabiting the middle European plain. Remember that it wasn’t for nothing that the Tatar-Mongols kept the Ryuks captive for 300 years. The fresh and young blood of stubborn Russian youth was shed by Tatars quite often, and bones and flesh rotted in the fields for a long time, too. At least such rumors reach us, either through the Internet or via Wi-Fi directly into our brains, a signal is coming to us from satellites. This woman, Baba Yaga, now lives in space. Stupid astronauts throw buns and chebureks right into her throat, as well as their blood in ampoules. Pieces of human flesh in zip-lock bags, crumbs of bloody okroshka-dish, vomit borsch, and saliva mead, Kiyevski cutlets, sushi, sake, and holiday garlands made of fingers are presented to her in the form of gifts, and the woman doesn’t even care to show off her nose. She spends all her time in headphones with a microphone coordinating the Donbass battle fighting maneuvers. All for the time being.

About hunting in the Stone Age

Is it possible to fell a mammoth with a wooden spear? A modern office worker couldn’t have slain a mammoth with a spear. Even to drop a bison for the average 15^th-century Indian was not an easy task, let alone a deer. Learning how to make poison spears took not just one generation for the Bushmen and not even a few. The drawings on the walls of caves indicate that wooden spears were the weapon of choice for the Neanderthals of the southern edges of our planet.

What made the aborigines use this method of hunting technique? The strange climate turned previously fertile lands into the Sahara desert. Before, everything used to bloom and odorize the air during the Mesozoic period, and merry chirps could be heard from the branches of the palm trees and gigantic ferns which then turned into an organic porridge that the brontosaurus and pterodactyls (the prototype of the modern bird known as the “rooster”) munched with pleasure. Then their excreta were turned into oil, which in the modern world our iron automobile horses eat, and these vehicles are also a kind of dinosaur, the only difference being that the wise and almighty powerful king of Nature—the human being, over whom there’s no higher law—controls them. Human beings breed all over the planet like cockroaches, to such an extent that they will soon become unaccounted for hunting, and they will soon have to eat coal, drink gasoline, piss boiling water, and shit with semolina, such that Moses from the Bible with heavenly manna, which he and his tribe had eaten for 40 years as he drove his tribe across the desert, would never refuse. This is the return to the pristine virginity of Nature that we expect to come.

Church and state

What is the point of the Church’s activities within the Russian Federation? To provide believers with their legal right to worship God. The law gave people the right to believe in God, whose name no one can mention in vain. Religion is the new fashion of modern men, but the name of the President—who is the secret ruler, father, king, and candidate for a bag of paradise apples in the near future—is proudly pointed out on the ballot. The real master of the universe in our locality is him, the President. Oh, heavenly Fuhrer in Earthly Paradise, may your name be sanctified, may your imperishable sight not leave the TV. The clay colossus of the energy- and oil-producing complex are all at your fingertips. The sacred Queen Esther will caress your eyes and inspire you to perform great deeds, and if you suddenly exhaust all of the resources of your beloved Motherland, it’s not a problem. We’ll still find them because the country is big enough for everyone. We will borrow from our neighbors. Our military potential is great, our tanks are fast, our airplanes are numerous, our cars are the best in the world, and the Internet is available all over the country. Wi-Fi, GPS, and Google Maps are transmitted directly from satellites to our cell phones. To whom does it fall, if not to us, to rule the universe from the evil electric golden throne, drink the white horse mares’ milk, sing songs of praise through a fully open throat, launch the spaceships to Cosmos—whatever meaning it could bring? The new religion is to respect the state in vain (that is, always), and to adore the sacred Constitution and the Father-President at the source of the true universal democracy.

Electric cars

I would bet that the mass production of engines is not an easy task to accomplish. How do you create a new kind of engine and oblige everyone to use it if the GOELRO plan (the State Commission for Electrification of Russia) does not provide for the use of electric engines at all for the next 50 years? Who cares what kind of car one has, gas or electric? How do we charge the battery of this miracle of technology in the winter, in conditions of low atmospheric pressure and negative temperature? If the manufacturer of this technocratic innovation does not think about the future, does not see prospects for the market, does not know how long is the distance that electric charge transfer could safely work, does not understand where and how to build recharging stations, and does not know how many people will use electricity in such volumes, then how can this change be accommodated? Who, if not the oil magnates, will save the Motherland and provide the easy and unobtrusive service of transporting the obese bodies of respectable taxpayers? How to plug the gasoline hose of the bloodsucker of our home planet, humans who are frantic from enduring both a serene and disorderly life, the well-fed and all-knowing descendant of apes, whose tribe mindlessly squandered everything that had been stored in the depths of the Earth for millions of years?

About justice and equality

In our country, democracy has been redefined after years of researching and calculating current world political and economic affairs, events, situations, and hazards. All citizens are equal in the eyes of the law, and the law is the same for everyone regardless of race, nationality, finances, sexual preferences, and type of employment, as well as a citizen’s reputation or coverage in the press.

What are the differences between rights, duties, and equality? The answer to this question can be easily reduced to the banal statement that we are all equal. However, when the conversation turns to delicate and subtle details of affairs, we bend lips into a bow-knot and are ready to sell our mothers for job encouragement and promotion. Get it while you can! Early bird gets the worm! No strings attached!

It’s better to be a plaintiff than a defendant, isn’t it? The plaintiff is the one who looks “fair-hearted” after having two minutes of air on the TV news channel and is ready to tear into shreds anybody’s life who is put against him in a courtroom. Moreover, even to approach within a few meters of the fence of his house would be considered an accidental trespassing attempt. It’s much easier to defend your opinion before a jury when you have an expensive lawyer with a good education. The ice has broken down, gentlemen! We’ve moved to a new world, and great things are waiting for us. To all the gentlemen in Paris: dear Paris, you winked at us with your devilish smirking and deceitful grinning. Paris and London have chosen us to be a protégé of their underwater designs and capitalist ideas. And I was warning you desperately, dear comrades, that it was imperative to separate the hated fascist-capitalist scumbags with the iron curtain, to clean up all the Chechen filth, to crush the abhorrent skunks with rockets and bombs, and then to chop them up with sabers, knead them with bayonets, starve them with hunger, stuff grenades up their asses, and burn the petrol in their throats so that they won’t ever again walk with impunity and resentment over our grounds.

Epilogue

I believe, there’s a purpose in our existence here on the planet Earth. There’s something that binds us together, our thoughts and motivations, and through the use of psychedelics, it’s possible to open strange and unknown doors to different realms and dimensions or other people’s thoughts. It’s possible to access the manifestations of other people’s minds. There’s something that connects us even without psychedelic substances, the imagination of the sober mind is no less powerful than on acid or DMT. Is it mystical hallows with which Christian saints are depicted on the frescoes, or some other invention of the higher intelligence that helped monkeys to evolve? We believe that signals from outer space penetrate our thoughts in a peculiar way. We believe that some extraordinary force exists here on this planet to our days, and was here always, even before the emergence of a human being.

We are strangers on our native land, and the future might not come tomorrow to everyone as unhindered as it will for others. I and our collective are trying to research these strange phenomena, and anyone interested in this is welcome to participate.

Every story published here is in some way related to the psychedelic experience, its origins rooted in evolution and explained in religion and other books; some of my stories relate to unfortunate consequences of our existence, that originate in a constitution of the human brain, which is vulnerable to an external mental and perceptional impact.

— Andrey W.

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